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Bodily Flashbacks


For starters, I don't have any conscious memory of what happened. But think my body holds memories. The smell of smoke, for instance.

I wasn't around anyone who smoked after the incident. Only recently when I was around someone who smelled strongly of cigarettes did I feel myself shutting down. I felt trapped. Talking to my therapist, she suspects that's a bodily memory. Does anyone else have these?

I always thought flashbacks were the things that made people hide under tables and forget where they were or who was around them. Took my T a bit to get me to understand that they come in many, many different ways.

For me understanding body memories were a huge problem because I had no idea where they were coming from. I would smell or see or feel something and suddenly my hands would start to ache but I couldn't figure out why. Took some serious therapy to connect the dots. I have other ones that make me want to throw up any time I think of them but don't always know why.

One good measurement of recovery is when you get to a point that you can finally remember but no longer have a body reaction - but that's can take a while.

Check out the book The Body Keeps the Score. It's basically my bible because it explains alot of what's happening. EMDR is another thing that has been really helpful to sort it all out.