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So this one is huge for me and I'm not exactly sure what to call it in just a couple words. Everyone I do at all well I get scared and can no longer keep up the good work. So self saboteur? Die to ingrained core beliefs that I'm bad? Part of me being stuck rebelling against a family that abused and blamed and denied tge abuse and castigated me for nit performing brilliantly as they thought I should.
Something that.
I'll chuck all that big mess in anyway whatever it is.
I'd like to burn my flu virus, the bacteria that decided to join it for a microorganism partay in my airways (rhyme..ish), and the f*cking gang of Drosophila that have decided to take up residence in my bedroom and hover around my food like vultures whenever it's meal time:shifty:.
So I'm basically needing the tiniest portion of a flame, or some virkon would do the trick too :geek:
Throwing the triggered sense of worthLESSness in that blaze. Throwing the idea that being female makes me a target, Burn damn ya!!!
Throwing triggers and PTSDbrain in there too... it grows back... but this fire will be going for awhile. I shall return.