Constant Triggers And No Support From Friends.

[Pixi23]

Okay..so all my friends have recently been turning their backs. Due to their own problems.
Understandable
But now I have NOONE to vent to.
I write a lot.
That helps me survive.
I live with my past abuser and my mother.
I am incredibly lonely.
I DONT trust counselors because I was admitted into a hospital for ONE very inspecific and honest statement.
"I am tired of doing this."
BOOM. Admitted for three days.
I get CONSTANT TRIGGERS.
My work involves a lot of angry customers.
Basically my questions are :
1.) How do I get through this with so LITTLE SUPPORT ?
2.) How do I deal with CONSTANT triggers ? Why do I let them bother me so much ? Some one gets mad and suddenly I am also distressed ?
I am mentally exhausted.

 

[darrenS]

i can certainly relate to the loneliness and constant triggers , its such a beatch. Having a bad experience with the help is horrid and i can understand how it shakes you right to the core. Do the best for you , and make what changes you can , even if it is setting boundaries or finding a safe place. In setting boundaries, i find its best to do them indirectly or under the radar so to speak. Letting them know a limit is in place but giving them a reason they can digest, so it dosent trigger a whole serving of guilt or shame and protecting yourself in the process

 

[KwanYingirl]

Who's bothering you? Who's getting mad and projecting it onto you? Is it this anger that's triggering you? Or feeling abandoned by your friends? I know that I have difficulty finding the source of my triggers. My therapist helps me and I always feel like a weight is lifted off of me.

It sounds like you're in a negative feedback loop. Try to get grounded. Give serious thought to getting a new therapist. What options do you have for living elsewhere? I wouldn't want to be under the same roof as my abuser, bleeeccchhhh .

I feel alone all the time. This forum has been a great resource. It's really hard to maintain relationships with PTSD. Be easy on yourself. Try to take action even if all you can manage right now is going for a walk.

 

[shimmerz]

The first thing they say when getting help is to get to a place of safety. Living with your antagonizers is going to continue to trigger you. Get out or hold on cause the ride is going to go downhill real fast.

 

[Pixi23]

Ive been in a homeless shelter twicein the past year. its the o.ly way. My mom is very helpful.
The shelter triggered me more in ways because there were drug addict everywhere.
I have chronic pain..been in PT for a year, owe my chiropractor $3,000 and counting..i just cant get ANY job.
Ive worked with a rehabiliatation agency. They found me a job I got fired from because I couldnt physically do it.
Discouraged ?
YES !!

 

[Pixi23]

Customers at work trigger me.
They get irratated and then I get upset. I didnt used to be so senstive to it.
How do i block it out ?
And no, I cannot financially find another counselar in my area. I have tried. Their financial assitance in the area is limited. I tried a different cohnselar...they all are terrible at what they do. Honest truth.

 

[Pixi23]

Get out or hold on cause the ride is going to go downhill real fast.

I just stated how much it is going downhill.
If i couldve got out...i would have.

 

[shimmerz]

Been there done that. Shelters are hell. Sleeping in cars in 5 degree Fahrenheit weather is hell. Discouraged is probably a very light word for what you are feeling. Have you been to a women's outreach organization? @joeylittle reminded me of this and they were VERY helpful to get my head cleared up when I was still with my abuser. I am going to say though, until you get away from the abuser and any enablers of this abuser, you will continue to be triggered. Listen, I know how hard it is to spin wheels and seem to get nowhere. Never Ever Give Up.

 

[joeylittle]

@Pixi23 , can you look into NAMI? It's a national organization dedicated to mental health. You can search it for your area and probably find a support group.

I'm alone, and if I hadn't started getting into groups I don't think I would have made it some of the really rough parts.

It's a suggestion, anyway, for finding a real- life support environment.

Also: look up videos for Jon Kabat Zinn. His guided meditations are great for overall stress management, and it's free.

 

[Cassie Ames]

I have the same problem I moved from England to Australia because all the bad stuff that happened to me happened in England moving to Australia was the best thing I did I'm on a student visa an work part time but have no friends I lie 2 the people I work an study with make out I have a great social life I'm so scared of being rejected I never ask for support but I keep telling myself it's an illness an all good things come to those that wait but my symptoms are getting the better of me had the worst week ever I just hate my personality so much

 

[Pixi23]

I feel less lonely with responses like all of you posted.
Thank you ! :)

 

[Ronin]

Not sure you're still looking for anyone's contribution but heh, this thread got my attention.

I think a lot is in realizing ultimately, you really live your life for you and *are* on your own in how it'll work out, but that doesn't mean there aren't people who will *relate*. Basically that you are on your own, but aren't alone. It's not a bad thing to be. Dealing with fear of loneliness and fear of proximity are two biggies to get over, and it's not like they make that getting over any easier.

But just important realization is you can pull it no matter how isolated and against-all-odds your existence feels. And you won't be alone to see the end of that tunnel, there'll be others like you who can relate. Just keep going, when you're going.

Constant triggers, desenzitization. And realizing which triggers actually work to my benefit. It's totally good (even if taking all the fun out of parties) that I duck fast at fireworks. (Haven't had a gun in years. That other reflex to return the courtesy is n/a.) It's something that at some point was useful. It's good my hearing & space orientation & speed of reactions didn't completely vanish. Even if I'm odd chick out. Things like that: some reactions that are painfully annoying when broken down, are actually saying a lot of GOOD things about what is still working in my life.

There's really only so much you can fix about your past or how it effects you. But you can see yourself for all the good and leave out the rest, and you can help others even when you feel like shit, just by staying around, by venting, by doing other things. So either way life's a win-win. You're not meaningless. You're not inactive. Your life has a purpose.