Decision To Be Made...

[Lost.n.confused]

Help! I'm having an anxiety attack and it hurts like hell. I can't breath and was never given any skills to cope with it.

I need help. I have been in a relationship for four years now with no further commitment. Before last year we had no problems at all. Now we have been fighting non stop.

He reports that the reason we are having these issues is bc of my PTSD. That my PTSD is stopping me from being happy and triggering me to do things I know will end our relationship.

Can it do that? I don't know much about my own disorder.. I feel so stupid. :-(

But today I took a small leap off a big peer and signed papers to get my own place. I'm running, like I always do.

How do I know if this is my fight or flight kicking in...or if I just need to fight for my relationship?

Please help...or maybe I just self medicated and can breath a Lil better now.

 

[Em C.]

PTSD can make you do a lot of weird things. Have you tried calling a help line or going to counselling?

Fight or flight (in what I know of it) is more an adrenal thing about increased adrenaline in case you have to fight or run away to save your life. You can be feeling this because of the situation but the getting your own place would be more avoidance if that helps which definitely is athing for PTSD.

Just try to carefully evaluate if it is your PTSD or if you are having relationship issues for another reason. Sometimes supporters in relationships use that as a cop out even if they do not intend to.

Message if you need someone to talk to!

*hugs*

 

[Ghostybear73]

If you can't breathe, you should go to the emergency room. Stress related or not, not being able to breathe is a serious medical problem and should be treated immediately. Not saying I don't self medicate at times, but never when I am having a breathing problem. Some meds can shut down your respiratory system so be careful and I hope you feel better soon. :)

 

[Nebulustrix]

Lost- You don't have to answer here, just consider this input and answer these questions for yourself, and hopefully this will help:

What, exactly, is causing you to feel panicky? When you start getting that shortness of breath, that "I need to get out of here" feeling, what is it you are seeking to escape? You said you have been fighting a lot - is it simply the imminent confrontation? Is it the tone of voice in your companion? The yelling? The words and phrases spoken during the argument? Try to pin it down to the most specific smallest detail and determine exactly what is causing you to feel so afraid.

The next step is to ask yourself- Why? Why does this frighten me? What is it that this specific thing is reminding me of? It may be a specific memory from your trauma or nothing more than a general association with feelings of pain or terror.

You pinpoint the what, the why, and then you need to analyze whether it is realistic for the "what" to be avoided. Meaning, are you afraid of the "what" for no other reason than it is a reminder of past pains, or is the "what" a legitimate concern that could be a sign of possible future pains if not avoided?

If it is nothing more than a reminder of the past, repeat to yourself over and over that there is no need to be afraid of x (current trigger) because it is not related or connected to y (past pain). Then try to talk through it with your companion. If it is a legitimate concern and you think your relationship is salvageable, explain your concern to your companion and that while your reaction was over-the-top due to your PTSD, it is still something that needs to stop or be resolved.

This is the process I have used for every panic attack I've had due to a PTSD trigger and I have found it to work very successfully in rebuilding my security with family, friends, and co-workers. Still working on the intimate relationship level, but... I'm sure I'll get there eventually.