Developing time management skills

[Rose White]

This is a spin off of the other thread that is meant to be a general support for people developing time management skills. You are welcome to write about challenges, goals, wins, etc. Also anyone who has a good system and wants to help teach and encourage others.

I am aware that time blindness is a diagnosis (condition?) that people with various anxiety and attention disorders can have.

I have pretty good short term time awareness but not long term. I currently try to hold all my appointments in my head or on scraps of paper in my desk. I have a cute weekly calendar book that I rarely use. I don’t use digital calendars but I use the notes function to write shopping lists.

I will be starting school next month and I need to keep track of deadlines. I depend a lot on doctors and organizations to send me text reminders. My email box is in the thousands or ten thousands. I have a mail lock box that I have gone three months without checking.

Embarrassed but this is where I’m starting. I would like to find a local mentor to help me develop a habit. Unfortunately I tend to need a good amount of hand holding to develop a new habit. Again, embarrassing.

Am trying to develop the habit of budgeting/spending plan too. I do know of a local mentor I can use for that but haven’t *made time* to do it yet. Interesting how time budgeting is related to money budgeting.

Ok, feeling overwhelmed now and like I blah blah blah’d so I will stop. I hope I will check in and look forward to supporting others in their quest to recover their time.

 

[Teasel]

There are a lot of things which affect my ability to organise myself, I'm glad you started this thread. Things that come to mind first that make it hard for me are executive function problems, poor memory, terrible working memory, I get bored very easily, dissociation, far too much screen time, demand avoidance, fatigue and lack of spoons yeah haha.

I am good with the calendar though. By good, I mean because of all my challenges, and the huge no of appointments and other importances that I completely forget, I have developed the habit of writing everything down, on my phone, so I always have it. And I set lots of reminders on my phone calendar & phone alarm system too.

Eg anything I have to do at a set time gets a bright yellow highlighted calender appointment, with 5 reminders - eg an hour, 2 hrs, 5 hrs, 1 day & 3 days before to maximise the chance I won't forget.

Some regular tasks, I set up a named alarm for them on my phone, and set it to repeat, eg Recycling, goes out on a Monday. Water the plants, also a Monday. That sort of thing.

I have shed loads of lists of stuff too.

When it comes to to do lists - there is a main list that everything goes on. Then on the home page of my phone, there is another list, on a widget, and there I add just a few things that I want to get done that day. I keep it simple so I don't get overwhelmed. As I complete things I can add some more if I want. The list gets emptied every day - if stuff isn't done, it goes back on the main list.

I regularly try out apps, and basically always find them helpful in the short term, but I can never keep them up.

Something that I currently want to work on is something I recently learned of called a sensory diet. - think it's for autistics though I might be wrong. But it is a way of fulfilling your sensory needs, so as to avoid being so overwhelmed or having as many meltdowns.

Being in burnout is something that has swallowed up the bulk of my time for prolly a decade. I need a lot of rest.

If I can manage things better so that I don't need to rest all the time, it could be a drastic improvement in quality of life for me.

I think some people can get help from an occupational therapist on the NHS once you have been diagnosed as autistic. But the waiting list for diagnosis is long. Potentially years long. So in the meas time, I want to learn what I can on my own.

 

[Rose White]

Those are good tips and thank you for sharing your struggles! Not a lot of words right now, taking it in.

I don’t know why I have such a visceral response to using calendars. I will try to start small. Just thinking about it is a step!

I welcome you to reflect here any time you like!

I do have a question. Is the sensory diet a time management goal of yours? To plan or change your environment to help you develop that?

 

[Teasel]

Is the sensory diet a time management goal of yours? To plan or change your environment to help you develop that?

Thanks, yes it is. In the sense that almost none of my time is currently available to me to accomplish anything much. The sensory diet could help me free up some time and help me actually be able to function for some of it.

 

[Teasel]

I don’t know why I have such a visceral response to using calendars. I will try to start small. Just thinking about it is a step!

Yes I think it is a step, being curious about it should lead you to learn / notice some things about yoyr relation to them / give you some clues about what to explore next etc. Might be that calendars will never suit you but you find ither ways to organise yourself

 

[Sideways]

I have a cute weekly calendar book that I rarely use. I don’t use digital calendars but I use the notes function to write shopping lists.

For me, this has been a muscle I’ve had to build.

Without a diary, my DID makes certain that I miss every important and irrelevant appointment that I make. But the professional world is pretty unforgiving of that, obviously!

I started paper based. I was getting used to the habit, I left my week-to-a-page diary front and centre on the kitchen bench, together with a bunch of coloured pens. Breakfast and dinner, it was there to be consulted with, and added to.

If you write stuff down on the nearest piece of paper, that’s totally fine. You can keep doing that. The only muscle that needs developing is transferring them to the actual diary.

I ultimately transitioned to the calendar on my phone. It was very awkward and uncomfortable for a while, and there was a long period where I kept both paper and electronic versions going.

Ultimately, though, with practice adding stuff straight into my calendar (rather than slips of paper), my electronic calendar became as vital to my function as my morning coffee. Because everything is in there, and increasingly it’s only in there!

People like to pathologise this stuff, but that can create a sense of overcoming the impossible which isn’t warranted. There’s a lot of evidence this is more learned and culturally driven than anything. Like any new habit that you’re trying to develop, it does take a period of commitment and self-discipline, and a bit of awkwardness and discomfort, but it’s totally achievable (and incredibly helpful!).

I would like to find a local mentor to help me develop a habit.

There are some well designed habit-building apps, and most are either free or very cheap. They most often function on a rewards-based system, which has some evidence behind it as being an effective approach.

My personal experience with them is that it can be a bit of a habit in itself remembering to use them! But I can see that they’d be particularly helpful for a person trying develop multiple habits at once.

 

[Rose White]

habit-building apps,

Any that you know of?

week-to-a-page diary front and centre on the kitchen bench, together with a bunch of coloured pens. Breakfast and dinner, it was there to be consulted with, and added to.

I like this idea. I keep mine on my desk on my room but don’t spend too much time in my room so maybe on the table with the colored pens could help?

Also, the intersection between diary (recording the past) and calendar (planning the future) is starting to play in my mind. Not sure how to work with it yet but it’s bubbling up.

it does take a period of commitment and self-discipline, and a bit of awkwardness and discomfort,

Am aware! And I feel like I’ve failed so much in the past that a part of my ego just laughs at me.

A habit I was able to develop was meal planning. I paid a professional to help me, got a lot of practice, did a lot of processing and reflection, and quit for a long time before taking it up for good.

A habit I have sort of developed is house cleaning. I used an app for that and have done well in fits and spurts and operate at a baseline levels of acceptable currently, in that I’m aware (mostly) of what needs tending and the process of how to do it, and I’m usually doing one or two small things on a daily basis. Am not on top of it at all. This habit needs strengthening but DAMN does it take up a shit load of time! Same thing with cooking from scratch to save money and support health—HUGE time commitment.

Plus I really enjoy reading—books, old literature—and that is an indulgent use of time. Screen time takes a lot of my day as well.

I am just musing now. Trying to organize how I think of time spent currently. Appreciate you sharing what works for you and how it’s a real exercise in discipline. I need to accept that but not treat myself like a jerk.

 

[Freddyt]

I am aware that time blindness is a diagnosis (condition?) that people with various anxiety and attention disorders can have.

I used to be the opposite in many ways. The only thing I needed was my email calendar at work for meetings (because my work was chaotic and I did o many different things.) and everything else was in my head.
Now? I have my google calendar, my shared calendar with my wife, my family calendar, etc. on my mobile phone, which I have with me (except when I get busy getting ready to go out and I forget it) As long as it all shows up in one place - with reminders I'm OK. Outside that it depends what we are working on in therapy as to how time blind I am but I can be pretty lost in time some days.

But without my phone calendar I would be lost.

I also find one added benefit is - things I have trouble doing, when they are on the calendar, and I have days to prepare, I have an easier time getting going to get it done.

A habit I have sort of developed is house cleaning. I used an app for that and have done well in fits and spurts and operate at a baseline levels of acceptable currently,

I find one thing about this to always work. A. Break down all the rooms and jobs that need doing. B. Set up a schedule so you don't do it all at once. Do the bedrooms one day, bathroom another, etc. C. Reward. Ice Cream? Cookies? Go for a walk?

I always found if it isn't one huge task - and its scheduled - it gets done. Add your kids to the schedule too. Vacuuming common areas, dusting, whatever, but do it the same way - make a reward for them (or everyone?) when stuff gets done.