Sideways
Moderator
She has boundaries. She asked you to do homework for the therapy that she provides. And you didn’t do it.What’s the therapeutic benefit of her not hiding it in the way that she does??
In a healthy relationship, if one person doesn’t meet their obligations, the other person is, very often, disappointed by that. By letting you know she’s disappointed, she’s reflecting what would happen in an ordinary, healthy relationship. There’s massive benefits to that. One of the really helpful things any therapist can do is model a healthy relationship - how it evolves, what healthy boundaries are like, etc.
So, I guess what I’m wondering is would there be some therapeutic benefit to you of your T hiding how you’ve made her feel? No right or wrong answer.
Just - sometimes the things that piss me off most in therapy are the moments that are (trying to find the way to say it) most ‘real’. Reality is confronting and uncomfortable. And sometimes I f*ck it up.
I’ve had Ts tell me in the past when I’ve disappointed them. It hurt like a bitch. And they weren’t wrong to be disappointed (which is why it hurt). The fact that our relationship continued regardless of their disappointment, and that they were still right there rooting for me when I lifted my game - that was the part that really mattered. That actually helped. More than I can say.
So maybe it’s all me projecting my own shit. Could be. Maybe she’s a lousy T, or you’ve got to the end of what she can offer. Or maybe this hurt, but there’s benefit to it irrespective of that discomfort.
Just my thoughts. Take what’s helpful, leave the rest.