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Childhood Did your abuser ever become angry

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CaraG

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I was raped as a child. I just remembered my abuser would get really angry if my body didn't react to sexual contact especially intercourse. If I didn't orgasm he would get mad. Does it make anyone else angry that you did react to the abuse as in an orgasm? Does it make anyone else angry that we are built to orgasm even as a child even if we don't want to? Makes me flipping angry.
 
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I was only forced into orgasm once that I can remember. It makes me so angry because it let him rationalize doing it to me because "I liked it". I'm just too scared and ashamed to tell anyone. Intellectually, I understand it is a bodily reaction that we have no control over, but that doesn't make it any better, not for me right now anyway.
 
I am so sorry you guys had to deal with this </3

Sometimes, I feel weird about my abuse because my body shut down "didn't work" and, shut him out, which made the r*pe shorter... and prevented him from doing that... he got frusterated and muttered about lube...

but that meant other things had to be done. But that was as a 19 year old...

But as a kid, since I was always fondled on my breasts and bottom, and tackled, etc. These things stopped being pleasurable, I had to relearn pleasure and pain. And that they don't have to go together.
 
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