Did Your Nightmares Start Gradually Or Right After You Had Trauma?

[sonicwhite]

I fight a battle of addiction. If I still hung around the ppl I used to, I would have no more marbles in my brain. I take gabapentin but sometimes I abuse it cause it makes a profound sense of well being. All I ever wanting. I noticed tho I have more nightmares while abusing it then i would taking it as prescribed. So I may have bounced back from a trauma situation and meds are the culprite. Anyways just checking in, Hope everybody is fairing well.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

I have had nightmares and night terrors since childhood. some years were better or worse than others. For the past few years, they have been very consistent. I tried Prazosin for help, but it had little effect.

 

[sonicwhite]

I went thru trauma, that's clear. I just think me monkeying around with my medication is making my brain unstable. Like shaking a can of Dr. Pepper. It's going to be unstable if I do that.......What is clear also is that my dreams have the same theme. Death, heat, Some type of force saying I won't make it into heaven.......Serious blood. Just all the fears I went thru when I was psychotic and locked in jail with no advocate to help me out......The dreams started to fade back in 05 when the medication was taking my psychosis away. So I had a period of some what normal dreams. Then the Gods Judgment theme came into play from my Pure O OCD......That's when the nightmares started. I notice if I try to wean off certain meds I will have nightmares. If I miss a dose of klonopin Crap hits the fan so I know medication has something to do with it.




I would rather not have PTSD then have it. I'm not boasting about it. I have several disorders that are going to likely change in the future but one thing is certain is I'm suffering and the pain hurts and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

 

[LadyUndomiel]

My nightmares didn't start until years after I escaped the abuse. While the abuse was going on I had nightmares about what led up to it. I moved in with my aunt after my parents died and she was emotionally abusive. At the time I was having nightmares about death. Now I have nightmares about HER. So I think I have PTSD on two levels.

 

[AnnaLost]

Wow. This is fascinating.

I've had nightmares as far back as I can remember. I'm also a very lucid dreamer and have a lot of repeating dreams. My late husband would always just curl around me and put his arm over me to wake me up. The pillow would be soaked from my tears, and he would just hold me until I calmed. The ongoing theme in my nightmares before was always trying to run away, but frozen and unable to move, or failing to save someone from something awful and complete helplessness.

When my csa surfaced earlier this year, the nightmares became flashbacks. I feel the hands on my throat and the slaps on my face, as well as the other stuff. Several times I've shot out of bed and when I could breathe, gone into the bathroom to see if there was a handprint on my cheek or physical evidence. Not fun.

And I don't have him here anymore, to hold me and tell me i'm safe. I miss him, and his arms around me, stroking my hair while I cry.

 

[sonicwhite]

@AnnaLost I'm so sorry you endured this. Your late husband sounds like a understanding and profoundly supportive person. He was the one slapping you was he? Your post is kinda confusing on who did what. I hope here can be your home and ppl here can help you thru your pain. I have never had a flashback but that sounds scary. I have nightmares and I have no clue what is causing them. Idk if it is med induced or my psychosis is what caused it. Idk anymore. I wished I did. Be safe Anna.......

 

[sonicwhite]

I had a gf once. Her name was Anna. I had to go through many trials just to see how important it is to communicate. To talk to reach out. I lost her out of stupidity. I was young. A male. My conscience was seared. I came to the cross and Jesus showed me everything thing i did wrong so when i get with my wife in the now or future I will know how to treat a lady. My desire that almost outweighs believing in God is a wife. That is what God is preparing me for. I have to be patient but i know and believe this is my level up in life. Than to worry about bills, ugh lol. And life lessons. I thank God everyday for giving me another day another chance to be what He and I desire. He gives us the desires of our hearts and wants us to be happy all the days of our lives.

 

[AnnaLost]

@AnnaLost I'm so sorry you endured this. Your late husband sounds like a understa...

Oh no, my husband never hurt me! The slaps are my abuser from when I was a child. Sorry for confusion.

Thank you for your kind reply. This thread has been like finding my people! Ok, this whole site :-)