Dissociation 101

[Britt.f7]

I just posted this in a different posting about the same thing, but, in case someone doesn't go there, here it is:

Here is something from the National Institute of Health: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1525127/

I found the most helpful part of it is if you scroll down to the Detachment and Compartmentalization section, which talks in detail about their relation to dissociation.

I encourage you to read both articles, if like me, you are confused by the mere word.

 

[reallydown]

Thanks for this thread. I've had issues at work recently...I dissociated and I think freaked out the coworkers...At least I didn't go into flashback mode...

 

[Anna]

Thanks for the information on the thread. The links are very useful.

I dissociate every day, I drift off into oblivion to the point people ask me where I go. I feel like I am on autopilot most of the time.

Those links really are useful. Just trying to find myself an english speaking therapist now.

 

[Abstract]

One of these is getting attacked in a park at knife point - at the time it was like it all happened in slow motion, I got away, went to the police and I think it's probably only because another woman had been attacked too that they believed me - as I was completely emotionless about it. And I went to work the next day as though nothing bad had happened. I still have no emotions about it.

I relate to everything here. I have been very angry with a therapist before (much later in life) as she kept insisting I speak about it and it was non topic for me. I now don't trust my lack of feeling about certain other stuff that could be considered traumatic and that I don't have any connection to. I have learned to greatly distrust the lack of feeling in many contexts.

It made sense to me when at last I discovered that dissociation is when many different things potentially become disconnected. And that can be feeling, thoughts, pain and much more. As well as the change in levels of unconsciousness that is the dissociated trance state or lesser versions of it.

Thought dissociation seems to be one of the biggest ones I suffer with now and it can be debilitating.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Abstract]

...I can't remember some coversations, ....And I can talk about certain trauma's like I'm talking about something I saw on the TV....I used to think that attack was just so minor compared to previous stuff that it just didn't bother me, but now I there is no doubt in my mind it was dissociation on some level, what happened and how I react to since.

Just reposting my comment Shell as my meaning got lost in translation a little. I relate to these very much.

 

[Shellbell]

Abstract, the one thing about this forum is the re-assurance that we are not alone in this. Dissociation is really hard to live with, and yet it has also worked well for me - like in the case of the park knive attack. I'm glad I have no emotions about it. But it does scare me that I do things with no control.

But yes, it can be very debilitating, I can't control it yet in therapy, immediately we get near the really severe stuff, I dissociate immediately. We've stopped now and I'm currently back to 'safety and stabilisation'. I know grounding is meant to control dissociation, but I am so far from using that effectively.

Dissociation is increasing for me on different levels and I don't like talking about it with my therapist either, as I feel like I should be able to control it and I can't.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I've been gaining a lot more from my therapy sessions since they let me start recording them. I still dissociate, but the info isn't lost to me.

It'll probably always be a part of my journey, but loved ones can fill in details I miss. Or, I can ask. It causes me to seem distracted or memory-challenged to others, but that is my reality and I refuse to be ashamed anymore for something that isn't my fault.

 

[shoulderblades]

Wow. Just... wow. That article has just made me realise that I've been battling with dissociation all my life. I thought I was just a daydreamer but everything it says about "floating away from yourself", being unable to concentrate - this happens to me pretty much on a daily basis, and it's often very intense.

"Sometimes the feeling can be quite intoxicating. When you feel starry-eyed you'll also feel a strong impulse to just keep staring."

This happens to me all the time. All the time. Usually out of nowhere; usually when I'm out and about or am socialising. I just suddenly... switch off. I'm gone. I'm glassy-eyed and staring at nothing and want to keep staring, and all sounds around me become muted and my sight goes fuzzy. I almost always feel safe when I'm in that space. It's as if my brain has shut off and refuses to engage any further in what I'm doing, all my thoughts go numb, my eyes don't even want to blink. I find it very hard to pull myself out of it because my thoughts go silent and it's like relief. Utter silence. No focus.

Wow. I never realised this was me dissociating.

 

[shoulderblades]

This has made me realise that all the times at work where I wasn't "there" was me dissociating. I would automatically go through the motions of doing my job, but I wasn't there. All sounds would be muted, my sight would be fuzzy, I would interact with the customers but in a daze. I would never be able to recall what I said to them or what they said to me. I would stay in this state for my entire shift sometimes.

And I can't count how many times I've been in conversation with someone and out of nowhere have switched off entirely. Their voice seems far away, again my sight goes blurry or fuzzy, I can't focus on anything they're saying, I don't remember a single thing they're saying to me. I am utterly gone and I find it impossible to bring myself out of it sometimes. If I do bring myself out of it, I'm distant and detached and suddenly have zero interest in interacting. I feel floaty and oftentimes tingly in the hands and feet. I don't feel like I'm really in my body or a part of it. If I have to stay in the social setting, I'm in a fog or a cloud and can't focus on anything, and any interaction I do is really forced and as if I'm on autopilot.

I have always found this so annoying and frustrating. I thought it was just me being flaky and useless. Stupid, even, especially when I have to absorb information and can't. I now know why I'm like this. I feel shocked by this revelation. But it makes so much sense at the same time.

 

[BloomInWinter]

It was a shocking revelation to me too.

You're in good company. It's a relief to get to know the "whys" on some questions about myself.

 

[watundah]

Yes, I thought discussing dissociation in therapy was making it worse, but now I know I'm more aware.
And I tune out a great deal at work, too - (especially when people are booooooorrrrrrrrriingggg! So there is *one* positive to it.)

 

[Lionheart]

It seems to me that I experienced dissociation as being "out-of-body". At least that is what dissociation always seemed like to me. It is as if my conscious mind has split off and traveled away from the present time and space into another dimension or time/space. Is this dissociation or am I confusing this with a different type of experience?