Dissociation???

[akosthegoose]

Hi to all this is my first post. I have been diagnosed with ptsd, non specific mood disorder and major depressive disorder.

I have been having issues with a lack of feeling in my legs arms and even face at times. Its not a tingling more of a lack of sensation I think. It happens nearly ALL the time and often makes me panic and self harm. I go to see my psych doctor on the 2nd but I'm really upset and afraid.

A few times I have also felt as if I am in a tunnel watching myself do things. I totally panic and freak out causing panic attacks. When I shut my eyes I feel as if everything is spinning.

I have been unable to sleep the sleep meds they gave me worked for a bit but now they don't the nightmares and fear of falling asleep has come back in full force. When I dream I see horrible things and horrible things are being done to me and those I love. I'm so so sick of it. I feel so hopeless and I feel it will never get better and in the mean time I am throw what very little money away on meds I can't afford and don't seem to work. If I didn't have my dogs I honestly can say I don't think I would have a reason to go on.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I'm sorry that you're going through such a rough time, but one day things will get better. Have you read about Derealisation and Depersonalisation? They are dissociative, but I think you may find that they explain some of the tunnel watching and lack of connection to your physical self.

Recently I've been having a lot of nightmares and I can say that it's exhausting, waking up feeling more tired and worse than the day before, haunted by fresh feelings of fear caused by the one escape you have - sleeping. Take time and just curl up with your dogs and have a cuddle with them. Feel their fur, warmth and their safety, cry into them if you can and know that they're there for you come rain or sunshine. Let them ground you. I know that there is no overnight cure but I hope you feel at least a little better soon.

AJ
xx

 

[WillyKat]

Yeah, sorry you are going through this.

I've been having physical discomfort a lot over the past couple of years. Just a few days ago I started considering the possibility that its part of the PTSD. That's not to say its all in my head; not at all. It may be that I'm so tense and revved up so much that its tightening my major muscle groups and causing back problems, etc.

Going to your doctor is a good move. The first meds I ever tried didn't work for me at all. And I remember going back and getting a different prescription. That kind of thing is fairly common; the same drugs that work for one person may be exactly wrong for another.

Hang in there.

 

[akosthegoose]

Went to the doctor yesterday. He increased all my meds but stopped my sleep meds even though I can't sleep. Getting 200 zoloft, 4mg risprerdal, 100 vistradil. I will see if they do anything if not I am seriously considering going back into the hospital. The numbing lack of sensation really worries me it makes my self harm and anxiety 10x worse.

Thank you for your thoughts. I do try look to my dogs to help ground me. Sometimes it does help. One I'm training as a service dog. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be here. I have recently gotten extreme anxiety because two are not in the best of health and one was my first dog. I don't know if I want to live without her. If something was to happen to her I don't know what I would do. I take her and the other one to the vet next week and I'm so afraid.

 

[Maggiemay]

Hugs!

I know that numbing feeling all too well. It's very disturbing isn't it? As already suggested, it could be depersonalisation I have a lot of difficulties with disconnection between my mind and body. When it's at its worst all you can do is keep yourself safe. X