Dissociation?

[Wolvescry]

I am not myself today. I do not feel like I am here, I am in a fog, I am so tired. I can't bring myself back. My bf is taking me on a trip to try to help me recover, but I feel so hazie. I just want to come back. I am so tired, but I keep pushing myself. I am sad and I am not exactly sure why. I understand what I have been dealing with, but my mind is blocking everything and I am just sitting here in another state. I am hoping it wont last long. Is this what dissociation is? How do I fix it?

 

[Introspective]

Yes, it sounds to me like dissociation. It's a bad state to be in. I can tell you what I do when I'm in that state, and how I get out of it. It's a good sign that you recognise that you are dissociating.

When I recognise that I'm dissociating, I stop and observe myself and my emotions, my bodily sensations etc. It helps to move my body, to get up and walk around a bit, while focusing on how my body feels. Accept what I'm feeling. That I'm in a dissosiative state, and that I'm sad for a reason, all though I don't know why. Lately I've been able to do this and come back to myself rather quickly. My body is in the here and now, even though I'm dissociating.What does my body need? How does it feel? I observe it, while I move around a bit. Moving my body, being active (in a calm way, like walking carefully around, moving my arms a bit, focusing on what it feels like. ) I need to come back to my body. I also focus on things around me. I open a window, I take in the smell, I walk around and feel the sensation in my body, I name some things around me. It's important not to stay put. The body needs to move.

If you were to go on that trip with your boyfriend, I would try to recognise the world around you. Listen to the birds. How does it smell, how does the ground feel under your feet. Don't interpet, don't be afraid if it's all a blur. You will come back again. I find that coming back to my body first is the easiest way. The other day I had a moment where I realized: Huh, I'm hungry! I could eat! And that was all I needed to come back. It made my body come back to the here and now. Not right away, but gradually, as I allowed my body to get what it needed. I need to search for my bodily needs, it doesn't come naturally to me. And for each time, I recognise it sooner, and I avoid dissociating.

You say you are tired and that you keep pushing yourself. That is something that might take you further into the dissosiative fog. You are no longer in contact with your bodily needs here and now. You are sad and tired. It is important to accept that. Your body is telling you what it needs. The minute we numb or run away from a feeling, we are not fully present anymore.

For me, I am recently learning how to stay in the here and now, how to avoid dissociating, how to recognise it the minute I'm starting to lose track. Whenever I'm feeling a bit blury, tired, restless, I check with myself. Where am I? Where is my body? Am I hungry? How long since I ate? Am I tired? Should I lay down a bit? Am I sad? Am I mad? I have to remind myself to feel, because I'm so used to going on autopilot, pushing myself to to all the things I feel I should be doing. But by doing that, I will sooner or later become dissociative.

I don't know if any of this was helpful, but I hope you will find your way back soon!

 

[KwanYingirl]

@Wolvescry

Yes that is dissociation. How do you fix it? First you already named it, then you move. Going for a ride is a great idea as long as you're not driving!! Engage all your senses mindfully. Smell something pleasant and notice that you are smelling. Then touch, touch five blue things and name them as you go. Listen to music, notice the instruments or the harmonies. Find a treat for all your senses .

Eat something you enjoy and taste it. Notice that taste. Look at pictures online on art sites. Find five paintings you really like (don't buy anything ).

Whenever I discover that I've dissociated I try to recognize the trigger. Sometimes it's an immediate event like getting my feelings hurt or feeling disappointed. Sometimes it creeps up over days. I have to be careful in therapy that I get reoriented to the here and now before I leave his office or things will percolate and build up anxiety and the next thing I know, I've checked out. Then I have to get out of the fog and the exhaustion.

Visit us online!! I hope you have a pleasant day.