Do Coping Skills Mean We Are Selfish To Our Partners Wishes?

[AdamAnt]

Seems your wife has her coping skills intact!

 

[becvan]

Jest, how about a compromise? You ride your bike and she rides her horses. Both are actually very similar. After you can have coffee (or whatever beverage you prefer) and talk about your experiences with each other. Bike riding and horseback riding are actually extremely similar and it's not unusual to see a person go from one to the other or do both (as in my case, I went from horses to harleys.) If she only wants to ride the breathing kind, encourage her. There is no reason you two can't do both and then share your experiences after the fact. If you want company while riding, look around while on your bike. There are many riders out there that would love company on a toodle.

I wouldn't push her to ride with you, but encourage her to ride in her own way. If you come up this way (Thunder Bay, ON, Canada) I'd be happy to go for a ride with you.

bec

 

[Jestadud]

Thought it might be best if I give a bit of background.

My wife was 15 when we met and she had a horse. I didn't see it for about 6 month and only then because I'd expressed doubt that she actually had one. When I first met it I patted it on the neck and clouds of dust came off it, I then spent the rest of the day laying down wheezing and trying to get my breath. A few months later she gave the horse away tack an all, it had nothing to do with me. I don't think she had the time for it what with leaving school, starting work and going with boys. ( Oh! maybe I had a small part in it then. ) More likely it was her parents who forced the issue and had been looking after it.

It is only recently that she has mentioned she think's she might like to go horse riding again and I think it's a really positive thing.
I have never told her she can't ride a horse.

I'm going to post this then try the bit about the bikes as I keep losing my replies on this.

 

[Jestadud]

Sorry people I've tried six times now to write about the bikes and I keep getting that vBulletin Message, I've been to FAQ and tried to cure it as described with no luck. So I'm giving up as I'm getting worked up about it.

I believe having and riding a bike is a coping skill but can't explain why without getting timed out.

Thanks for the offer of the ride out Becvan, a Harley, Wow!

Yeah, you'll work now you b*****d computer

 

[AdamAnt]

I get it Jestadud. I used to have a Harley and actually considered it therapy. I could have problems, real problems, and take me a couple hour ride and by the time I got back I'd have everything worked out in my head and just go to solving the problem...no questions or second guessing in my mind. Nothing else has ever done that for me. It's one of those "If I gotta explain it, you wouldn't understand anyway" kinda things!