Relationship Do They Ever Come Back?

[The Hermit King]

Four years is a long time, I'm sorry it ended the way it did. I am also coming out of a relationship, mine was three years. My situation is weird because she tells me that no one in her entire life was as good to her as I was and that she still loves me. She broke it off when she had the realization that I will never be the ideal guy for her. She is very family oriented, she has two kids and she is very outgoing. In three years I only went to her Dads one time and I have never even met her brothers and sisters and not once has any of her friends come to the house.

The major thing was I never got close with her kids. They were really great kids 13 yr old girl and 10 yr old boy. I had no problems with them and actually liked them. I bought them stuff all the time. But the problem was I never really spoke to them at all. They would come stay every other weekend and I usually just stayed in my room playing video games or watching Netflix. I do not have kids and don't want any but I am not a kid hater or anything. I just never really could open up to them and over time it was just too late to try I guess. They really liked me for some weird reason though. And they were very upset when she told them we broke up. Her son asked me all the time when I was going to marry his mom.

I really don't like how some of these vets go about break ups. Before my most recent relationship I ended it with someone after we had both been unhappy for quite some time and we were living more like roommates. When she left I gave her a couple thousand dollars just to help out with any expenses she might run into moving. Even now I got dumped and I am still taking care of her until she can move. Everybody is different. Not every veteran with PTSD is a dick because of it. Some were that way before they got PTSD.


Anyway sorry to ramble on. I just wanted you to know I feel your pain and I hope the hurt you feel eases up soon.

 

[matthios]

Not every veteran with PTSD is a dick because of it. Some were that way before they got PTSD.

And it really goes without saying there are plenty of us with ptsd who aren't vets AND aren't dicks.

 

[kabeh394]

So... As I stated earlier, it has been 10 months, Luke has cost thousands in his actions but I open my email this morning to this...

"I was at Lukes house and he did not have the artwork that was created by the marine widow at COCC that I bought for him. He says you have it. Please just roll it up into a poster tube and mail it to me.
I can either reimburse you or pay ahead, just let me know the amount. your choice. thanks
Please take care,
By the way...di you get your pilots license? If not, good luck, if so YAY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!"

Now, first of all, how is Luke affording rent because he hasn't paid anything else? Second of all, that particular item was a gift to me (which she is aware of), and Luke told me to take it all, "I hate everything in this house" I believe were his exact words. Lastly, I have not contacted this woman (ever), I did not have a relationship with this woman, she and I do not get along, and when she was confronted (whilst placing blame on me and trying to sidestep Luke's part in any of it) about her son's responsibility in all of this, her exact words to me were "why don't you get a job and pay for your own stuff?"

Let me also clarify that although the nature of this email seems to be in good spirits, it's because she wants something, none of it is genuine, shes a great manipulator. If I ignore it, there will be more, if I respond with anything other than what she wants, there will be trouble (and everybody in her life just gives her what she wants, shes a bully, and I will not give her the satisfaction of getting her way)!!! We do not live in the same state, so she really doesn't affect my life but, she is abusive! This isn't helping me move on!

 

[kabeh394]

that is from his mother by the way!

 

[The Hermit King]

That seems so out of the blue after ten friggin months. :banghead:

 

[kabeh394]

She didn't ask, although she did state "please" before she barked the official order. Does anybody else deal with this kind of "sense of entitlement" from somebody? She really pushes my buttons!

 

[kabeh394]

I shouldn't have but I just couldn't help myself!

First of all, I would ask how Luke is affording rent with the $9,000.00 bill we just received from Ford, and the $1500.00 balance on the home improvement loan at ABC Bank along with the $500.00 he owes me for his Iphone and the $250.00 early contract termination fee with Verizon, not to mention the $1500.00 he is responsible for our moving cost to Oregon and half of my credit card balances totaling $1500.00 plus the 424.00 to Window company and 377.00 to AT heating and cooling, all of which he walked away from after he promised to pay??? You can have your poster when your son starts making good on some of this crap he helped create, until then? Go suck an egg!

I'm not going to argue with you, the bottom line is he signed his name to this stuff, which means he is just as responsible as I. I don't care why you think he is absolved or justified in being irresponsible or why it is somehow my fault, I am not interested in any further communication from you or you're family. I don't care about an apology, you don't mean it anyway, but pardon me if I don't drop everything I'm doing while you bark orders at me with the word please in front!!!

Again, I will remind you that I expressed and Luke confirmed "he didn't want any of the (crap) out of the house", he just wanted out, I didn't know that meant he was bailing on everything for a free place to live, in hindsight, I would have done things a little differently but I was trying to be nice. I left him the things he asked for and then some.

My next question is if he wants something so bad, no matter how much you dislike somebody or confrontation, there are certain times in life when you have to be an adult and ask yourself, not send in your mommy to do your dirty work. I told you I am not playing your game, I have asked you repeatedly not to contact me, will this ever be over for you or do you truly have nothing else going on in your own life? Seriously, just stop, it's over, you and I were never in a relationship and there is no reason on earth we need to communicate... PERIOD!

This was my reply to her email...

This is a huge trigger for me!!! This woman needs to be knocked down a couple pegs but I fear that she as always will have the last word...

It's almost like the breakup I experienced was with her and not her son... She was all too happy to roll up her sleeves on this one and keep this garbage going!

 

[kabeh394]

So why do I bother??? I'm so confused about why I even read her stupid emails, I have since blocked her which I think is healthy but I truly detest her in my life, or do I?

 

[kabeh394]

I feel traumatized, the relationships that once meant so much to me, the lifestyle I led even a year ago, the happiness Luke and I shared, the comfort and security of my life, I feel like somebody snatched it up and gave me this nightmare! As things start to level off for me and I become comfortable in my own skin again, I hear from his mother and the whole thing starts all over or I get another bill in the mail or some reminder that we used to be an "us". I feel abandoned, by Luke, his family, some of my own family and even some of my friends. I can't attach, I feel like I have nothing in common with anybody, I feel judged, and I feel angry, even with therapy and medication for depression and anxiety! Is this ever going to get easier for me? Is anything ever going to make sense for me again? Was it really all a lie? Why can't I let this go?