Relationship Does It Get Better?

[Iwanttolovehim63]

Thank you for your replies.
That makes a lot of sense to let him wait till he feels more stable. I know his ex girlfriend forced him to go to therapy and it just made things worse since he didn't really want to in the first place. He's a very introverted person in general so I know it is difficult for him to speak of his experiences. I won't bring it up for a while and I'll just try to be as patient as I can be. I really want to be as supportive as possible to make this easier on him but that can be difficult to do too. It's hard for me to not take his comments and lack of interest in our relationship personally but I'm trying! I know he needs to focus on himself right now.

 

[AEW]

So I'm new to this but reading all these posts has helped me a lot. I thought I'd see if I coul...

Hello, first of all I want to tell you I think you are a very strong and caring individual to stand by him through this, as a sufferer I know how rare it is to have someone stand by you even when they know you have PTSD - so thank you, that knowledge helps me too! His withdrawal sound very much like what I do at times. This illness quite often has an ebb and flow cycle between extreme feeling and then numbness known as disassociation. Its a kind of shock response. It seems to me like he is trying to protect you from any outbursts and the anger bubbling away underneath, thats why he disappears with friends on the weekends - especially if they just let him goof around with them and not be serious in any way. But please don't diminish your own feelings at the same time, you are far away from places and people that you know - I think a good counselor or psychologist will be helpful for you too. You need someone to support you and the unfortunate truth is sometimes people who have suffered trauma become what they hated most. So someone there to listen and let you know if they see red flags will be good and also they can suggest strategies to stop you from getting exhausted or even traumatized yourself. It not an easy thing to support someone through this especially when they are in an unwilling to feel stage, which could be temporary or last years, no one can foresee that. I believe he does care for you very much, but he if frightened of his own thoughts, feelings and memories and wants to shield himself and you from them. He may even be trying to understand why you care so much - its hard for some sufferers to understand human kindness after they have seen how very dark and cruel humans and life can be. Best of luck, and please do find a professional to support you - it really will help :-) Bless your heart!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree that therapy for you would be the best thing for you, you would have an advocate on your side who can guide you and help you to build a life for yourself while your partner is going through this. You are so young and I cannot imagine the inner strength you must have to stand by him.