Donation-based Therapy And Sexual Assault

[Ekebe]

I have a few questions from your own experiences:

(1) Has anyone done donation-based therapy or support groups with a $1-35 suggested donation? I can't afford to pay more that $1 (I could push to $5) because my resources are devoted elsewhere. I just feel badly about using a therapist without paying fully.

(2) Has anyone ever gone to a sexual assault survivor group when their sexual assault was "only" an attempted rape, not a completed rape or even a violent attack? I feel like I am going to look like I'm making too big a deal out of what happened.

(3) Does anyone have 2 therapists - 1 for one issue, and 1 for a major, recent trauma? What if your therapist was taking time off for an unknown amount of time due to a death in her family? I don't know if it is a good idea to work with someone else in the mean time.

I'm just lost as to what to do. I was going to ask my T this weekend, but she had to cancel for her family issue. Any ideas?

 

[Ebubir]

I just feel badly about using a therapist without paying fully.

Often the base issue is not the money. Although humbleness may set in there is sometimes hope of getting back up on one's feet or creative ways to offer time to serve. I would tidy up and clean, keep an eye out for paper towels on sale and donate, bring in a nice sandwich or cake from time to time. Later on, I donated more when I didn't even go and referred others.

Has anyone ever gone to a sexual assault survivor group when their sexual assault was "only" an attempted rape,

I do not know your country however, please read this as it defines a clear picture of sexual assault- bolding is mine

"Sexual assault refers to an assault of a sexual nature on another person. It can include a wide range of unwanted sexual contact such as rape, forced vaginal, anal or oral penetration, forced sexual intercourse, inappropriate touching, forced kissing, child molestation ,exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls torture of a victim in a sexual manner etc. The actor causes submission of the victim by means that is reasonably calculated to cause submission against the victim's will. Definitions of offences are primarily governed by state criminal laws, which vary by state. It is generally a felony."

http://definitions.uslegal.com/s/sexual-assault/

Now what were you saying? Stop the minimization...too many others will be glad to do it for you.:hug:;)

 

[Ifuh]

I have a few questions from your own experiences:

(1) Has anyone done donation-based therapy or support groups with a $1-35 suggested donation? I can't afford to pay more that $1 (I could push to $5) because my resources are devoted elsewhere. I just feel badly about using a therapist without paying fully.

The professionals who run or participate in those programs made the decision to donate their time for XYZ money. Is is not your responsibility to second guess their choices. They know they may be working for free. That's a decision they made, and have every right to make.

 

[Givi]

A friend of mine went to a group in college and it was really helpful for her (I won't talk about my stuff so a group would be really overwhelming). I've tried two therapists for different issues and that hasn't worked because one always disagrees about seeing two therapists. I suppose I could lie, but sometimes there are insurance things too. Basically both therapists would have to be okay with it. In some cases I think it makes a lot of sense. Some of us just need a lot of tools, support, and resources. I don't see how different therapies for different issues makes it too muddy for therapists.

If you can pay $1, pay $1. I've done other support groups and often not paid, but then put in $10 when I felt like I could.

 

[Mihi]

I have a few questions from your own experiences:

(1) Has anyone done donation-based therapy or support groups with a $1-35 suggested donation? I can't afford to pay more that $1 (I could push to $5) because my resources are devoted elsewhere. I just feel badly about using a therapist without paying fully.

I've had a therapist offer to sew me pro Bono (free) and as much as I wished I could pay her more than she was worth I took her up on it. There were times that I wanted to take a break not from her but from working do hard while I was there but not paying made me feel like I had to keep putting 100% in all the time which ultimately helped me a lot.

 

[Oli]

1.) Yes, I have done both a donation-based therapy and a donation based support group. It is very much worth it.
Therapy and support groups for trauma and sexual assault have been extremely helpful to me.
If the support group is with a organization, chances are, they have grants or other resources that fund the group. If it is not with an organization, I still wouldn't worry about it being donation based. Pay the $1 and go and judge if it is the right fit for you based on how helpful it is to you or not.

(2) Has anyone ever gone to a sexual assault survivor group when their sexual assault was "only" an attempted rape, not a completed rape or even a violent attack? I feel like I am going to look like I'm making too big a deal out of what happened.

Yes. I have. I understand you feel like your trauma isn't "bad enough" to warrant attention and support. When you minimize it for you, you are actually minimizing it in general too. Is what happened to me not that bad because it was only an attempt to invade me? People can get PTSD from watching someone else close to them during an attempted mugging.

Stop comparing trauma. Trauma is trauma and your trauma warrants support. I went to sexual assault survivor group and shared about my struggle to deal with the aftermath of attempted rape. No one put me down, no one thought my trauma was less worthy of support than theirs, and it was really helpful.

3.) I have had two therapists in the past, at the same time. Generally it was one for individual therapy, another for group therapy, or at another time I had one for trauma/general therapy and another to do specific adjunct therapy of art therapy.

That doesn't sound like your situation. If your therapist is gone for more than a week, with no expected return date, it seems extremely healthy and wise to seek out another therapist. It's fine to see them for everything - probably a good idea. It is also fine to just to have them for a short time, and even for one issue, although everything else will likely impact the processing of that one issue. If your therapist is just out of town for the week for a funeral, then rely more on crisis lines and your sense of what you need right now. Go ahead go check out the group therapy or support group options and then when she gets back, you can tell her you checked it out and you plan on going (or not).

 

[Vezu]

Pay what you can pay and don't feel bad. Yes, go seek treatment for attempted assaults. You matter.

I've had a group therapist and a solo therapist but never two solo's at a time. How long is your primary therapist going to be out?

 

[Ekebe]

I haven't seen my T in three weeks now and, with her mom dying, I don't know how long she will be out. My guess is at least two weeks more because the funeral would be in a different state once her mom does pass away. I feel so badly for her, yet I also feel responsible for caring for my own needs, and I need support. I'm going to do an intake at that donation-based place and start a group there, I think, but I'll talk to them about seeing a T because I need someone reliable for a short time period.

Thank you for your very rational ideas about donation-based T work. That does settle my mind, as does the reasoning of my trauma being just as worthy of care. I am probably not alone in that fear, and, if the support is there, I deserve what I can get.

I'll still have to figure out the T situation, though, because I love my T but I can't go this long without support. It feels like an eternity, like I don't make any progress in the time between appointments. I can't watch my life stay at a painful standstill.

 

[Oli]

I was sent to Rape-Victim-Camp at one point. LOL. I'm sure they meant well, and... Honestly... I think there is tremendous (and largely untapped) merit to 24/7 support outside of a hospital setting.

My problem with it was 2-fold

- Firstly, rape isn't my primary trauma. I've never gotten anywhere with my PTSD by treating ancillary traumas. Although treating the ancillary traumas in hugely helpful in other ways.

- I was the "worst" person there. Everyone else were victims of sexual assault... But no one so far on the spectrum as to include rape. Did they need counseling, support, etc.? Yep. And they were extremely helpful to each other.

At the very least it's awkward when there is an unequal distribution on the spectrum. On either end of it. One of the counselors there was quite irritated, because the week prior? I'd have fit in like a duck in water. And there were a couple of people on the pure assault side of the spectrum that were unable to get the help they so desperately needed, for the same reasons. (Key point : Everyone needs & deserves help). They were trying to adjust their intake to group like severities & like traumas together... And were still working out the kinks.

As you can see from this forum... Where we're all over the durn spectrums & kinds/types of traumas... It can be inordinately helpful not to isolate traumas and severities. It can also be extremely helpful to do so. Really depends on the structure present, more than anything, I think.

If it's something you're concerned about? I would call and ask. No I wouldn't. I would mean to, and then just show up & take it as things came, especially as I wouldn't be out a lot of money if it wasn't a good fit. But calling and asking ahead of time is an option.