Emerging From The Ashes...

[Blue4D]

THANK YOU VETERANS FOR YOUR SERVICE I want to start by saying hello!I have never posed before but thought today would be as good of a time as any ...I am ex army 19K M1A2 I have 1 combat tour to Iraq 06 we patrolled the roads and hunted for enemy\IED we were high dollar targets and let's just say it didn't end well ......I have spent the last 9 years convinced I would some day wake up and living in the fog of my war would be over somehow never to appear again..my memories have corrupted my mind and latched on so tight I may never realize the damage this has caused me ..somehow something deep inside that gives us that warrior instinct to begin with made me reach out and ask for help .I am grateful for this website and the community here and want to thank you all your stories and in site they have helped restore that warrior in me and gave me strength to fight on .........Thank you...BLUE4D OUT......

 

[atilla]

Thanks for your service Brother, and welcome Home. This community IS awesome.

 

[dutchiedelta]

Welcome Blue4D, make yourself at home.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Welcome Blue4D,
Good to hear and have you here.
Thank you for your service as well.

 

[Zipperhead]

I was In a Leopard C2 my last tour. Afghanistan. 2007. Got a few scars myself. I still miss the smell of tank exhaust though.

 

[Joseph King]

THANK YOU VETERANS FOR YOUR SERVICE I want to start by saying hello!I have never posed before but thought today would be as good of a time as any ...I am ex army 19K M1A2 I have 1 combat tour to Iraq 06 we patrolled the roads and hunted for enemy\IED we were high dollar targets and let's just say it didn't end well ......I have spent the last 9 years convinced I would some day wake up and living in the fog of my war would be over somehow never to appear again..my memories have corrupted my mind and latched on so tight I may never realize the damage this has caused me ..somehow something deep inside that gives us that warrior instinct to begin with made me reach out and ask for help .I am grateful for this website and the community here and want to thank you all your stories and in site they have helped restore that warrior in me and gave me strength to fight on .........Thank you...BLUE4D OUT......

Nice to meet you brother!
15N aviation here. I'm a new guy here. I have been out 6.5 years. Still struggling with energy, motivation. Using my GI Bill though. Other than that dealing with PTSD/depression on a daily dose.
Joseph

 

[Sleeping Dragon]

......I have spent the last 9 years convinced I would some day wake up and living in the fog of my war would be over somehow never to appear again..

That, my Brother, is not going to happen. The path back to your life before combat is gone.

The good news is there are many more paths that are available. Each one can lead to the beauty and rewards that life still has to offer. But, in order to keep this real I have to tell you that each of those paths is long and difficult. The trick to following those paths is small, regular steps. We call them baby steps. And, ya gotta take them each and every day.

Finding your way in this world has to be your number one priority. I've been on my paths for nearly fifty years, and the journey will never end as long as I'm alive. But, the things I've seen and learned have been worth the effort. Stay on the path.

SD

 

[Plat-Daddy]

THANK YOU VETERANS FOR YOUR SERVICE I want to start by saying hello!I have never posed before but thought today would be as good of a time as any ...I am ex army 19K M1A2 I have 1 combat tour to Iraq 06 we patrolled the roads and hunted for enemy\IED we were high dollar targets and let's just say it didn't end well ......I have spent the last 9 years convinced I would some day wake up and living in the fog of my war would be over somehow never to appear again..my memories have corrupted my mind and latched on so tight I may never realize the damage this has caused me ..somehow something deep inside that gives us that warrior instinct to begin with made me reach out and ask for help .I am grateful for this website and the community here and want to thank you all your stories and in site they have helped restore that warrior in me and gave me strength to fight on .........Thank you...BLUE4D OUT......

I feel ya younger brother I do. My only advice is to become as polite as you can even when you do not mean it. Find ways to educate everyone who may rub you even if they do not know they are. I find ways to be polite but firm on what I will allow in my life and what I will not. Most will understand. I have told many I have many issues I am in the middle of processing in my head. I need not to think about your issues right now for I do not want to drop the ball. Later I will be more focused and able to relate to others. It takes time to built your inner strength to where you can displace allot of this shit when needed to protect others and their feelings. I am a angry SOB but I do internalize allot of it until home and then I beat the shit out of a body bag or pillow or go out back and shoot shit. Riding my scoot relaxes me. I am one who has seen a dozen therapists to find one who is not scared of me. Took a while. The listeners are the best. many just try to categorize you under a file they read. Neah. But just have to move through it. I also now like the meds for just right. I sleep. Dreams are not so bad now most of the time. I do not slap the shit out of people in public for no manors. The learning things helps. keeping the mind busy helps. Hobbies. I fabricate shit like rods and custom bikes. many brother really get in to akido or other arts to focus more on not the past. Man you were on the job, Doing the job, Living through the job, and now is hard to forget the stress but not the brothers. Everywhere you go look around even at dumb-asses and think your free because of me. be proud. I find peace in helping others as long as I can afford to. I have to avoid public allot for if a man is cruel to a kid or female I will get locked up again for the stomping that is he is about to behold. The biker in me I guess. Everything you feel, think or dream has a reason just always be honest with your self and polite as hell to others in everything you need to say. Plat-Daddy 18E

 

[Blue4D]

Yea thanks brothers but I have isolated my self and only deal with 4 ppl in the last 5 years 1 of them my wife my boss who is a non combat Vietnam vet and his son and grandson. So even tho I sometimes snap at them still I try to be nice even when I feel like knocking the walls down .....got a appointment with a physciatrist on Monday and am looking forward to regaining my sanity .......and some sort of life...

 

[Blue4D]

I have to mention this after talking to a va phocoligist for about thirty minutes and after she told me she was referring me to the psychiatrist I asked her if she thought I had ptsd and she almost laughed like I was crazy for even asking she then asked me what I think and I told her I know why I am here and she was like yea ......

 

[Plat-Daddy]

I have to mention this after talking to a va phocoligist for about thirty minutes and after she told me she was referring me to the psychiatrist I asked her if she thought I had ptsd and she almost laughed like I was crazy for even asking she then asked me what I think and I told her I know why I am here and she was like yea ......

Wish you a paved road for success my brother. They helped me allot. it some meds for a while and now after a while very little meds but they help me stay clear headed. We all wish you well and some smoother days ahead.