Relationship Feeling Lost

[Livy's Mom]

Hi everyone. I'm new here but I appreciate the warm welcome yesterday on the introductions board. I'm feeling so lost today. I have no idea what I am doing.

I posted yesterday that about a week ago he left me and our 6 month old baby. I have no idea what to do next. I have let him know I have absolutely no intention on giving up on him or our family. He seems so cold and matter of fact about moving on. It's like a switch just went off in him.

Has anyone been in this situation with a small child? How have you dealt with visitation and things like that? He wants to pretend like everything is fine and wants to only watch her while I work so basically I am a single mother on my days off and work 12hr shifts otherwise. Is that fair!! I have such anger and love at the same time.

I have considered demanding he take her 50% of the time but I feel like I might be only making that demand to force him into seeing he should come home. I don't know. He doesn't work so should I ask him to take her for half the week full time?

Help.

 

[discarded]

Would you really be comfortable for him having the baby 50% of the time? Do you trust him to care for her adequately? I really don't think this is a wise option. As hard as it is he needs space right now and pushing him into a situation he can't handle will not help. I agree, it isn't fair on you but it is the way it is. PTSD is not fair nor is all the crap that goes along with it.

I have a 12 year old daughter and my exhusband doesn't want much to do with her at all. He sees her once a fortnight if he remembers and doesn't try to make any contact with her other than that. I know looking after a 12 year old is a lot different to caring for a baby but the fact my husband would be a reliable carer is the key factor here.

I know how hard it is to take care of little ones on your own. My husband was away a lot during his military career leaving me basically as a single parent much of the time. It isn't easy and you do need time for yourself. If it is at all posiible for a friend or family member to help out that would be ideal. In my experience, making demands on a PTSD sufferer, especially when he is in a fragile state and already withdrawn from you, is not going to end well.

I hope others have some advice for you. It is a difficult situation to be in and you need to take of you.