Justmehere
Sponsor
I deeply struggle with a lot of very mixed feelings about family, especially those that knew of the abuse but didn't do anything about it.
I've learned that denial is a coping mechanism. My mother begins to admit the abuse only when she is far away from other family. She says she really didn't see it growing up. To some degree, I believe her. To face the reality that someone you know and trust (and your parents had to trust this person to some degree to leave you alone with them) is doing the unthinkable to your daughter... That is a painful reality to face. They should have faced it and it was wrong that they didn't.
For me, I am really deeply grappling with the loss. There is a lot of grief involved with facing the fact that things could have and should have been so different - for both of us. It's a huge loss to not have had someone step up and protect us as every child deserves. Grief can bring up a lot. I have been reading through materials on grieving losses of various kinds.
I'm sorry your mother has cancer and I think it's courageous of you to help them out. My only advice would be to take time and let yourself grieve over what should have been.
I've learned that denial is a coping mechanism. My mother begins to admit the abuse only when she is far away from other family. She says she really didn't see it growing up. To some degree, I believe her. To face the reality that someone you know and trust (and your parents had to trust this person to some degree to leave you alone with them) is doing the unthinkable to your daughter... That is a painful reality to face. They should have faced it and it was wrong that they didn't.
For me, I am really deeply grappling with the loss. There is a lot of grief involved with facing the fact that things could have and should have been so different - for both of us. It's a huge loss to not have had someone step up and protect us as every child deserves. Grief can bring up a lot. I have been reading through materials on grieving losses of various kinds.
I'm sorry your mother has cancer and I think it's courageous of you to help them out. My only advice would be to take time and let yourself grieve over what should have been.
