I just finished a partial hospital program last week and have been feeling slightly stronger and more hopeful, but I had a miserable first appointment with my psychiatrist today. Even though I was making it very clear that my chief complaint was PTSD/trauma, the questions were mostly pressing into my childhood and upbringing (my trauma is unrelated to my family and did not happen in childhood.) I know they have to get a profile of me at the beginning but I was very clearly panicking and his questions kept evolving and coming even though I was evasive because of my then-present terrible condition. He shifted his body language with my every puzzling, disconnected answer. I couldn't retain his questions in a way that allowed me to answer them effectively and appropriately and it was absolutely humiliating. He ended the session abruptly when he realized that it was fairly long after my time had run out. Concluded it by checking with me that he could actually get to know my case by talking to my therapist (again, FIRST appointment is on Monday) after my appointment.
I'm just so worn out and want to be fixed and back to myself. I wish every day that I never accepted the job that traumatized me. I eagerly anticipate the day that I can process my world healthily again but I am so depressed and exhausted in the meantime; every day is so long, difficult, and lonely.
I'm just so worn out and want to be fixed and back to myself. I wish every day that I never accepted the job that traumatized me. I eagerly anticipate the day that I can process my world healthily again but I am so depressed and exhausted in the meantime; every day is so long, difficult, and lonely.
