Medical Forced To Have Abortion

[Redlewis]

After 3 yrs of serious abuse I was pregnant at 15. My abusers made me have an abortion. They paid someone to do it so I didn't go to a proper clinic. I have recently been grieving v badly for my baby. More than usual. Don't know what to do. Loss is too great. I've had two children and 3 grandchildren since but can't stop thinking about my lost baby. He or she would be 32 by now exactly the sane age as my youngest brother.

 

[Casey_03]

I'm so sorry. I know how unbearable that pain can be, I was forced into one a few years ago, though my circumstances were a bit different (the child wasn't a result of abuse). But I have never gotten over it. Is there anything happening right now in your life that could be triggering the memories of this lost child? Is there something reminding you of it? I don't think there is much you can do except let yourself mourn. Talking about it should help too, and I know there are some websites and forums devoted specifically to this topic. Again, I'm so sorry you had to go through something like this. It's horrific.

 

[Sideways]

There's no way I can fathom what that loss must be like, but my deepest sympathies are with you and your lost child.

Have you erected a memorial anywhere for your child?

Memorials often get misunderstood as people dwelling on the past. In fact they can be a helpful way not just to honour the lost one, but to give us a place where we can take our grief & let ourselves feel it in a peaceful way. When we walk away from a memorial of any kind, we aren't leaving the past behind us, as though it's forgotton, because we will return. Instead, the memorial can be a place that holds that grief for you while you allow yourself to continue living a fulfilled life.

Thoughts are with you.

 

[Suzetig]

I'm sorry you've experienced this and can so understand why you're still struggling to come to terms with it. I wonder if seeing a therapist might help, working to focus directly on the abortion and the losses that went with it. There are some charities that do post abortion counselling and even after all this time, you would qualify for their help. Or your GP might be able to offer counselling.

 

[Atomic]

Hugs, and sorry for your loss.

Don't beat yourself up for something you had no control over. You were a young girl.

I'm a spiritual person and I believe that all babes, no matter how their earthly journeys ended, are returned to the arms of their mothers.

 

[Redlewis]

I'm so sorry. I know how unbearable that pain can be, I was forced into one a few years ago, though my...

I have been suppressing memories of the abuse and loss for many years and have only recently been hit by the full impact of them when one of my abusers died a month ago.

 

[Redlewis]

I'm sorry you've experienced this and can so understand why you're still struggling to come to terms wit...

I am having some counselling

 

[lostforgottensoul]

After 3 yrs of serious abuse I was pregnant at 15. My abusers made me have an abortion. They paid someo...

If it helps, i can relate...except i didnt go to a clinic. Unsure if i was preg, no preg test given...was 14 and was done with a BBQ fork.

Im sorry! :hug: i named my 'baby' if i was. Choose 2 names since if i was preg i didnt know the gender.

I cant have children now because of it & the other damage.

You have to grieve the loss...just like any loss, that baby was yours and must be grieved.

Grieve is a process, is different for everyone, and shouldnt be rushed.

I stole (as i did food, tooth brush & tooth paste & other things i wasnt "allowed" to have) a baby doll and would hold it like a real baby. I dunno why, i was 14.

Either way, grieve your child as long as you need to, know i understand the feeling, and you arent alone! :hug:

 

[Redlewis]

Mine wasn't done in a clinic and I ended up being told I would never have kids cos of the damage. We adopted my daughter but after 12 yrs of marriage I somehow became pregnant and we have our son now too. When I was 15 I spent a lot of time with my baby brother- people said I was like his second mum. Guess this helped me at the time. I'm still v attached to him now. I haven't really ever grieved properly and think that's what I'm going through now.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

You've had quite awful experiences.

I'm glad that in the end you still managed to have kids of your own. But like, really shitty what the abusers would do :hug:

Must have meant to him, having the attachment also

 

[Ronin]

I haven't really ever grieved properly and think that's what I'm going through now.

No words, but quiet sitting with you through the difficult time.