Group Therapy And Support Groups

[piratelady]

This is something my therapist brought up to me at my appointment this week. He asked me if I thought joining some sort of support group or group therapy type thing might help. If I was open to it, he said he would try to find something for me.

Honestly, the idea of group therapy or group...anything makes me very uneasy. I think there are a couple reasons for my uneasiness. One part, I think is that talking about it in a group setting takes something that I am already very uncomfortable with and puts it in a group setting. The other part is I don't think I've fully accepted happened and in a way, I think it would make it more real.

I don't know, the whole idea of it just makes me very uneasy. I am wondering if anyone else has had any experience - good or bad with support groups or...group anything really. Did you find it helpful?

 

[raven123]

If it is led by a shrink, probably good if the shrink is good. If not, hit and miss. Just go and listen a couple of weeks (unpaid) and see if you like it. My advice is not to expect great friendships outside the group if you associate because screwed up people usually don't make the best of friends in my experience.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Some groups are good, some are bad. You'll never know unless you go.

Ultimately I'm not a group therapy person. I ended up in groups where a few people hogged the time so others didn't get to speak, ones where people didn't really care about healing, and ones with a "woe is me" mentality.

In the end, listening to others problems wasn't helpful to me. I internalized their issues and it brought me down.

But, to each their own. You'll never know if you don't try, so go for it!

 

[rightkindofme]

I'm also not a huge fan of group therapy. I have tried it a few times and it just hasn't worked out. I get better support from my friends rather than random strangers.

 

[Hashi]

Since you've only just started talking about trauma in therapy, it sounds like a leap to think about talking to a group. Why does your therapist think it might help?

I think ScaredOfLonely makes a good point that it's also about hearing what others say.

In the end, listening to others problems wasn't helpful to me. I internalized their issues and it brought me down.

I often find this on the forum and have to be careful about it. In fact, when I've considered group therapy (and decided against it) one thing I thought about was how I feel being on here, where at least I can choose what/who I pay attention to and what/who I don't.

This might sound strange, but hearing much about other people's trauma is never helpful to me if it's not the same as my trauma. I have enough trouble dealing with X, Y and Z that I experienced myself, and I can't cope with the idea that A, B and C are also happening in the world. If someone else's trauma is the same as mine, then hearing them share about it might or might not be helpful. I certainly couldn't predict whether I would be able to hear it at, say, 7.00pm on a Tuesday evening, when the group met.

I'm thinking about what you say about how being in a group would make it more real in a way. That sounds like it might be a good thing about a group, as long as you're also having individual therapy to pick up any fallout from that. I would wonder, though, about the risk of it being too much too soon.

 

[piratelady]

I am hesitant about the idea, to say the least. I think I'm like you SoL, in that it likely wouldn't be that helpful to me to listen to other's problems. I struggle with it at times on the forum, where I can just close my laptop and walk away. Walking out of the room seems rude.

Why does your therapist think it might help?

In therapy he asked me who I've told about the abuse and what happened. I said no one. I never told my mom, family or friends. He said it might be helpful to share with someone. I imagine, it is something similar to what a previous therapist said about how talking about it with someone supportive can help to lighten the load, rather than carrying the whole burden yourself.

I just don't know that I would gain that much from a group. My biggest problem with my abuse is the shame that comes with it. I am not sure how listening to other's stories will help me deal with my own shame.

I don't know, maybe it is something that could help me when I am further along in my therapy.

 

[The Albatross]

Of the group therapy experiences I've had, the single most insightful thing about it for me was how myopic (near sighted) each member of the group was... including myself. I'm with Scared of Lonely and Raven, you won't know til you go.

I learned a lot about myself with my several "in group" experiences.

 

[The Albatross]

I think I'm like you SoL, in that it likely wouldn't be that helpful to me to listen to other's problems.

If that were truly the case, mutual aid wouldn't work and our forum here would have no members. There are lessons and valuable exchanges to be had in group therapy.

 

[piratelady]

The difference between the forum is that it's not in-person and I can walk away if necessary. There are stories I've read of other members, and the feedback I've received has been helpful. But you all are not here talking to me, you can't see me and I can't see you - there is some anonymity.

 

[The Albatross]

By it's nature, therapy of any kind means developing a capability of withstanding "uncomfortableness". If we accept where we are "comfortable" we are doing ourselves a disservice.

 

[Hashi]

I actually wonder about the future of real life support groups given that we have the internet now. I think there will always be people who will benefit from it. I can see the point and I respect what Albatross says.

What I wonder about is the subset of people who can get enough of the speaking out/validation/I'm not the only one/other perspectives from a website like this, who previously would have only been able to get that from group therapy.

But want to emphasise that I think face to face groups also have a dynamic that for some people could be very helpful, at the right time.

 

[piratelady]

developing a capability of withstanding "uncomfortableness"

My therapist said something similar this week. I am not there yet...not by a long shot.