Poll Has PTSD Caused You To Attempt Suicide?

[Sandra]

I thought about it many times. I just wanted the abuse to stop from my so called mother. And at the time that was the only way I saw to be rid of it.

Although when I had a butcher knife in my hand one day, you have no idea how much I wanted to use it on that evil bitch. That was the only other way I saw to stop it.

 

[DethBlossom75]

Yes. A couple times it has been outright attempts. I have also engaged in high risk behavior more times than I can count. Drinking and drug use, multiple sexual partners.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I answered no, because the couple of times I've been unconcious or felt close to death, I've been concious inside (like dreaming). I know this could be dissociation caused by shock, concussion or many things. But to me, it feels like theres something else there, and when I want to escape life, theres a voice that answers me back by telling me that there is no escape, you just go on after. Its not a kind or pleasent voice and I hate it, but it saves my life.

 

[Lion]

Yes this time on Oct 31. Everything had crashed, but at least I'm still alive.

 

[Lucycat]

I have thought about it a lot. I tried as a child although in very immature ways. I didn't know then that I had CPTSD so don't really know if it counts. But when I told my T he was certainly concerned that I had had such thoughts from a very young age.

 

[JD99501]

My husband with PTSD has in the past few weeks begun to carry out a very destuctive life with a lot of risk taking behaviour. This includes drinking heavily, taking drugs, breaking our marriage vows, working crazy hours, driving dangerously and God knows what else. I wouldn't even know. I am all but out of his life now - his choice.

I don't know if this will be any help. but I know there are times I fall into impulsive behavior. Not intentially I usually don't catch it till I have been doing it awhile. Also I tend to set myself up for failure. Not allowing myself to be sucessful. Sorta like killing yourself. Financially.

 

[olaja]

I have wanted to die and be rid of this life for decades, but I never made any attempt.

 

[Sionn]

Three attempts, four ward visits, manged it once, but had the unfortunate luck to live down the street from the hospital, literally two blocks away.

Do I still think about? Yeah, a lot. Will I try again? I hope not, now that I am out of the situation that I was in. That fourth ward visit, that was because he came at me, and I fought back, and almost killed him. They told me it counted as me trying to kill myself.

I am still trying to figure how that counts, but eh, I guess they know, they are the docs, right?

 

[heidi]

Too tired..

 

[JD99501]

To be fair to the forum. I tried twice. First time i was talked out of it. The second time the cops showed up too quick.

 

[Pippi]

I voted "many times, various ways" mainly because of risky behavior. Friends have talked me out of outright attempts, and other friends have had to monitor my alcohol intake to avoid poisoning. The first time I remember feeling the desire to die was at the age of six. I told my mother, "My heart hurts because nobody loves me," and she didn't seem to know how to respond.

 

[scaldedsheep]

I tried to overdose twice but I woke up in my own vomit and piss both times, sad to say. There's a sick hilariousness about someone trying to kill themselves, failing, and then becoming bored with it. That's where I'm at right now. I'm sure one day I will eventually succeed or drink myself to death. Either way it's a choice that is viewed with the harshest of comtempts by most societies and if anyone knows you've tried to kill yourself you're labeled the freak, the coward, or the mentally unstable one. Life is just so f*cking jovial and fullfilling how could you ever do such a horrible thing?