Having A Hard Time Discussing Sex With My Therapist

[jadebear]

I have been trying to talk to my therapist about the sexual problems that I have. But I'm having a hard time discussing them.

I can talk about the past abuse, but when I try to explain how it affects me now when I have sex, I feel like it's wrong to talk about it. It makes me feel so ashamed and dirty.

It's not because my therapist is a man. I think I would have a harder time with a female, I think a woman would judge or not take me serious or not care(probably because that's what my mom did).

I told him having sex makes me feel like a slut, especially if I happen to enjoy it. But when I tried to explain why, I just couldn't talk about it.

How am I supposed to help myself and work on the problems if I can't even talk about them?

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Jadebear,

As soon as I saw this thread I was laughing to myself. Yep, I know exactly what you mean. I can tell my ( male) therapist that I find sex difficult, or 'that I'm having issues with intimacy' (:vomit:) but I cannot get down to the detail of what the problem is. I think if he were to ask the right questions so that I would only have to answer yes or no, I might get there- but unfortunately, marvelous though he is, he is not a mind reader!

I just keep pushing these issues away to deal with later. I have turned to 'self help' having a good book to work through. However I would rather have the support of my T with this. He knows about the book, but never asks about it.

To be honest I find it hard to talk about most things.

 

[WonderingWhy]

I could not imagine talking to anyone. I just posted something as a reply on a post and am feeling a lot of anxiety. I might have to go delete it before the 30 minutes. I guess I can do that and repost if I decide I want to. I feel like:timebomb: with it there.:running::running::running: to go delete :wave:

 

[cherryblossom]

I know it's hard. And I would have a hard time discussing sex, with my therapist. But at the end of the day, you have to remember that you are not telling them anything they haven't heard before. Equally, JB, your therapist has never judged you before, so why would he start now? As I have suggested before, and I think you have done before (I know I have)- perhaps try writing things down and giving him a piece of paper. Sometimes, it's not important how you tell your therapist - just so long as you tell them. Then the subject is open for discussion.

Good luck :hug:

 

[jadebear]

I have written quite a few things for my T. to read, but IDK, I'm not so sure I could write about that.

It feels so wrong. Maybe If I could figure out why I feel that way it would be easier.

 

[cherryblossom]

Maybe you could try writing about it first, and then think about whether to show him or not. Just the act of writing it down might help you to work out why you can't tell him.

Also, perhaps you could broach the subject of sex with him. Maybe say you have some issues regarding sexual problems, but that you don't feel comfortable talking to him about it. His response might make you feel more confident in talking openly, or perhaps you could just explore why you don't want to talk about.

IDK - just my random thoughts after reading your post!