Relationship Heartbroken But Hopeful

[Serasen333]

Its been 8 years of chaos and multiple separations since I met my veteran husband. Although I still love him very much, just 3 days ago I had to leave.

My trying to hold down a part time job to help us didn't go well. His habit became more expensive and he demanded more of my time than ever. I spent over two months fighting with anxiety at work, then coming home to find he had done nothing all day and was ready to pick a fight.

It ended in him threatening my life, then calling the cops to try and have me arrested. His father offered to pay for a bus ticket and I took it.

I am still in shock and have bouts of just sobbing. I can't really look anyone in the eye right now. My family has tried to be so supportive this time. I think they can see it on my face that this is final.

I really don't like the idea of giving up on him, on us. However I do feel like if I had stayed any longer I might not make it out alive.

Its scary out there on my own but I'm hoping this is a fresh start and that I'll be able to find some peace and maybe happiness down the line. (Although another relationship is completely out of the question for me due to trust issues now).

I hope the ones hanging in there find support and solace here. Love to all.

 

[mamachick]

Serasen--I am glad that you are out and safe. Eight years is a long time. I have dated multiple abusive me (not the cause of ptsd, but sure does not help). It would not get better. I understand how difficult it will be to trust in the future-I suffer that as well. I also know how scarey it is to be out on your own and not have much supports. Keep sharing-Im sure you will find helpful supports here from those who have dealt with something similar.

You have made it out alive and there is hope. Hang on to that thought. You are a surviver.

 

[Bim]

I could give you a hug right now. I've been through a lot before and even until now there are still times that I can feel the pain. Yes, there is hope. Something beautiful is out there waiting for you. Be blessed!

 

[ptsdsolution]

It is so hard to let go and move on. I sense part of you will always ask could you do more but you did so much already and dedicated 8 years of your life! You owe it to yourself to be happy and have a life too. Take good care of yourself.