Hi

[Daisee1203]

Hi. I'm new here. I found this site when I Googled "I shut-down when I'm overwhelmed". I really don't know where to turn today. I do have a pretty good support system but I still feel pretty overloaded. I also have an appt with a new therapist today. She sounds pretty nice. I hate that I have to go through this stuff again.

I just got into a relationship with a very nice guy a few weeks ago. I am completely out of sorts because of this. I don't know what to do. I know a lot of it is due to my very traumatic childhood patterns coming up and out but it doesn't lessen the pain, you know? Like knowing why doesn't help me at the moment. In fact, it makes me sad.

Today I am numb. I have swayed in out of this feeling to feeling like I'm in a complete dreamland when I'm with my boyfriend. I hate it. But it is not anything he is doing. I feel as I'm about to fall asleep at times or am just very drowsy.

Hopefully I will learn some new things here.

 

[anthony]

Hi Daisee, welcome to the forum. I have zero doubt you will learn things here that will help you. Plenty of supportive people around, plenty of existing knowledge here.

 

[Zemi]

Welcome Daisee :) I hope things went well with the new therapist today? I think you will learn new things also; I know I have in the last few weeks since joining.

 

[anni]

Hi Daisee,

It really is a very good place for learning things, whether it's in the articles section or from reading others experiences in the threads gosh, there's always something.

It's also awfully helpful having company with this stuff. I'm sure if you tool around the threads somewhere will be a similar situation discussed with 'Shut down when overwhelmed'. It certainly sounds familiar to me on days like today, for instance. :)

Welcome to the forum, and do take care,

Anni

 

[Daisee1203]

Wow. Thanks so much everyone for the welcome message. And for just checking on me...a complete stranger. Yesterday went well. She seems very nice and we have a goal for the next few weeks. I shared with my bf after and he was very sweet and just heard me until I was done. I cried a good deal so was hard for me to talk. But he just let me. I think I was able to communicate to him that being in a relationship with a nice guy is so new for me and commitment on the whole, makes me clam up, has me feeling very anxious. I am completely exhausted today - emotionally and physically. We talked about maybe me joining a gym to release some of the anxiety physically. I like the idea but am not motivated at all and have trouble sticking with things. Then there is the money aspect...

Realized on my own yesterday that the "dreamy" stuff I was feeling is me disassociating. I guess it's good I realized it so now I can try to be aware. I haven't done that in a REALLY long time.

(HUGS)

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Daisee, welcome to the forum. The hardest post is your first one. You have accomplished that and seeing a new T and talking with your boyfriend, that is great. Be proud of yourself.

I am completely exhausted today - emotionally and physically.

I always feel that way after T. My T did warn me about it when we first start, I have EMDR. He also advised me to keep the rest of the day clear so that I could come home and relax. I always do, a quiet time and then usually a nap.

It is wonderful to have your b/f to support you and now you have us as well

Take care
KP

 

[Daisee1203]

Thanks, KP for sharing. I like to keep my schedules open and clear, too. It def helps when processing. I'm very grateful for people who comment here. I don't feel so alone. I do have friends that suffer from PTSD but we can't always talk to each other all the time, ya know? It's good to branch out and for me to talk to other people.

 

[anni]

Yes, the forum is hugely valuable to come and not be 'the only one', isn't it?

Gyms are ridiculously expensive sometimes. I don't know if you live anywhere it would be possible ( some places in the city too crowded ) but I solved the whole expense thing by taking up running for the anxiety. I use that term loosely, mind you, since my daughter assures me it's no such thing. It's shuffling, she says but she's not really mine and was switched at the hospital. It's what I tell her those days. Anyway, shuffling is free except for the shoes and you don't have to get in the car and drive anywhere to get there- just walk out the front door. I generally meditate while doing it, my daughter takes her Ipod.

It must have just plain felt good to have gotten all that out, even if crying leaves one exhausted-it's out for the moment and some progress, you know? I do hope being here in the forum can be an aid to your healing path, as is has for so many of us, or at least company along the way.

 

[KP the nut]

It's shuffling, she says but she's not really mine and was switched at the hospital. It's what I tell her those days. Anyway, shuffling is free except for the shoes and you don't have to get in the car and drive anywhere to get there- just walk out the front door. I generally meditate while doing it, my daughter takes her Ipod.
.

I'd love to shuffle, I settle for putting one foot in front of the other. My excuse, I see more if I stroll slowly. I do get out of breathe so it must be working something. I hate gyms, I'd rather swim but practically walking with the dogs is best.

 

[Daisee1203]

I am really impressed with this community so far. Normally when you join a board it takes some time for people to respond. At least that has been my experience. This is nice.

Funny joining a gym/exercise is mentioned. My bf gently suggested me joining a gym to help release my anxiety. I couldn't agree more. Only that I am not really motivated and I have a hard time sticking with stuff. I actually went to look at a gym last night and I'm not sure I can't afford it. I have a dog but I'm not really motivated to walk her beyond what she needs b/c it is too hot AND there is this menacing cat that my neighbor just allows to roam about that chases us. Yes, you read that right. :p I don't like walking alone at night, so that isn't an option either.

My bf asked what would be more expensive...joining a gym or therapy. lol. In my case it would be therapy b/c I have a very large deductible to meet until they kick in anything. Exercise can't replace the work done in therapy BUT I've been really working on healing for the last 4 years so maybe this would be a good alternative for now. However, since it is mentioned 2x in 2 days, maybe I should take this as a sign? :)

 

[anni]

Hahahaha! I never thought of it that way- either or! Gyms are absolutely expensive, but you'd think they would not be, considering HOW free just walking is! :) I think you'll see others here also who sometimes have found therapy beyond the means here and there. Gosh, it happens. Obviously the forum isn't a replacement for actual therapy but it is awfully helpful, quite seriously, in a lot of healing ways. I always get it wrong if I attempt to figure out why in professional terms ( artists should Not Try This At Home ) but the articles section sheds light on it somewhere.

Hmm. Menacing cat. I have a menacing can of hair spray which might deter the little swine, if it gets a snootfull. Mean cats don't like that much......

 

[Ron]

Welcome to the forum Daisee ! You are in "the" place for sharing your feelings with caring, understanding people. I wish you all the best on your "healing journey."