Sufferer Hi

[benevolent63]

Hi
Just joined this forum hoping I can understand myself better by sharing my thoughts. Its been a month since I was diagnosed with PTSD. I always knew that something was not quite right with how I always felt. My PTSD stems from my childhood. I did not have the normal conventional upbringing and I was severely ostracised and bullied at school. Now at 49 the feelings of indifference are still there and its a struggle to go out and deal with others. I was a stay at home mum and just went back to work but its hard when you have this disorder.

Any conflicting situation where I feel I have no control mostly with strangers will send me into a full blown panic attack and I live with this fear and uncertainty about people are they a friend or a foe. I have been like this for as long as I can remember. Many times I have denied myself but my memories and depression have brought me back to reality and I go back to the pills.

 

[lflight]

Hi benevolent:

Welcome to the forum, as myself is new here too, so I wont be able to give you any advice for now. But after I join here I have learned a lot of things by reading others post, it really helped me. So I do hope you will find something here that can help you too. I am sure there are many sufferers like you in here will share some useful information with you.

So good luck to you! Have a good day!

 

[Bullying Survivor]

Hi,
I was drawn to respond to your post because I could relate so much! I am also very new to this forum and also only recently discovered that I have C-PTSD (a month). I am also in my late 40s, and also dealing with the impacts of many years of relentless childhood bullying, plus an absentee though loving father (having said that, where was he when I was being bullied and when his wife ignored me for days or weeks - she still does this BTW and she's 77!), and alcoholic, mean, neglectful mother. I've had anxiety, insomnia, disassociation all my life, punctuated by the odd breakdown, and could never figure out why I felt under threat my whole life. Like you, I am just beginning this journey of dredging up all the old trauma and trying to make some sense of it.

I wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and that I feel your pain (literally!). I wanted you to know that there is someone else out there new to to the forum, new to the struggle, who is thinking of you and sending you positive healing thoughts.

 

[anthony]

Welcome to the forum benevolent.