A
anybodyoutthere
I've never really thought about doing this before, but to be honest I think the advice and support of others could help. I'll start with what happened, as briefly as I can.
At the time, December 2015, my then boyfriend was graduating and staying with me. After a good evening with his family we then went out with his course friends. As I didn't know them much and felt quite uncomfortable I kept my drinking to a minimum. We stayed out until quite late, as I didn't want to ruin his night. By the time we got back he had quite a few drinks. I wanted to sleep as we were going away with his family the next day early. He seemed to want other things, repeatedly trying to force himself on me, putting his hands everywhere, while I kept saying no. I eventually managed to push him off and he rolled over to sleep. I left the room for a long time and eventually came back to sleep, trying to convince myself it was nothing.
The next morning I told him what he had done and he claimed to have no recollection and was remorseful. I went away with his family purely because the shame of admitting what had happened was too much for me. He tried to make it better by apologising over and over and even planning a trip for us to go away.
I ended up staying with him for just over a year after that happened. I never spoke of it again while we were together or to anybody. Since I ended everything the feelings of what happened have come back to the surface again.
I now have a new boyfriend who I love unequivocally and knows what happened ( as I found it hard for a long time to be intimate so ended up breaking down and telling him). I finally managed to tell my mum. I've since been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and the councillor thinks a lot of it is to do with this past experience.
I'm not saying I want to bring the law into this, as I well know it would never get to court even if that was what I wanted, but I need to work out how to once and for all out an end to how I feel. The amount of times I've wanted to tell my ex how what he did has affected my life but have decided against it.
I'd just like some help and advise. Thank you in advance
Xxx
At the time, December 2015, my then boyfriend was graduating and staying with me. After a good evening with his family we then went out with his course friends. As I didn't know them much and felt quite uncomfortable I kept my drinking to a minimum. We stayed out until quite late, as I didn't want to ruin his night. By the time we got back he had quite a few drinks. I wanted to sleep as we were going away with his family the next day early. He seemed to want other things, repeatedly trying to force himself on me, putting his hands everywhere, while I kept saying no. I eventually managed to push him off and he rolled over to sleep. I left the room for a long time and eventually came back to sleep, trying to convince myself it was nothing.
The next morning I told him what he had done and he claimed to have no recollection and was remorseful. I went away with his family purely because the shame of admitting what had happened was too much for me. He tried to make it better by apologising over and over and even planning a trip for us to go away.
I ended up staying with him for just over a year after that happened. I never spoke of it again while we were together or to anybody. Since I ended everything the feelings of what happened have come back to the surface again.
I now have a new boyfriend who I love unequivocally and knows what happened ( as I found it hard for a long time to be intimate so ended up breaking down and telling him). I finally managed to tell my mum. I've since been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and the councillor thinks a lot of it is to do with this past experience.
I'm not saying I want to bring the law into this, as I well know it would never get to court even if that was what I wanted, but I need to work out how to once and for all out an end to how I feel. The amount of times I've wanted to tell my ex how what he did has affected my life but have decided against it.
I'd just like some help and advise. Thank you in advance
Xxx
