Relationship How Do I Tell Him?

[Ecl84]

Things were off for about a month, but they're on again. I was putting a lot of pressure on him and being pushy due to my own breakdown. That scared him off and he ended after almost a month of avoidance. But since I've figured out my issue (hormonal birth control), I'm back to my normal self and were almost back to where we were.

We started back up just as "friends", we'd see where it went. Things are going great, no pressure or expectations seems to work a lot better for both of us. The thing is, I want to go back to being more than "friends", but keep this same no pressure thing going. I guess the best way to put it is that I would like us to be exclusive.

How do I approach this? I don't want that statement alone to make him feel pressured, and obviously even bringing it up is going to insinuate the feelings I have towards him. Feelings, at least discussing them, aren't his thing.

Any thoughts?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I don't speak for all sufferers, but my reaction is that you're asking for an oxymoron of a situation. All (yes, I do mean all) relationships bring us stress. Even the good ones....Positive stress is a very real thing and can indeed overflow our stress cups! I guess what I'm saying is that to me, there is no such thing as "no pressure exclusivity" and I have a feeling that many sufferers would feel the same way that I do.

 

[Pretty Hurts]

@Ecl84 i'm still learning what to do and not do regarding my sufferer....the only advice i can give comes straight from the horse's mouth. my sufferer has told me, on more than one occasion when i attempt to share my "feelings" to keep it to myself. just don't say anything, let things play out. actions speak louder than words....things like that. this stresses them out and sets the on course to avoiding us. so if you are enjoying things as they are, enjoy it with no expectation. if you can stand it....i know, easier said than done. i'm still working at this myself....so you're not alone.

All (yes, I do mean all) relationships bring us stress. Even the good ones....Positive stress is a very real thing and can indeed overflow our stress cups!

@itsKismet thank you for stating this. I'm finding this to be true to what i'm experiencing with my sufferer in my current relationship.