Gamera3000
Silver Member
My sister lives in another state, so I only see her and her kids every couple of years. I love, love, LOVE her kids. I have one son, a toddler. She has three kids, an older teenaged girl and two younger children, a girl and a boy. She recently broke up with her long term, live-in boyfriend, who is the father of the two younger kids. He has told me that the younger girl told him that my sister is not being nice to them and that my sister is self-harming, sometimes in front of them. I know that she is sleeping with multiple people, I don't think around the kids, but I don't know.
My older niece told me the same things a few years ago when she moved out to live with her dad. She actually said that my sister did not care about her and put all of her adult emotions on her. My older niece was raped, twice, and I had to force her to tell her parents. I'm not sure they really got her help. I sent her some books and I try to talk to her, but I'm still not sure she's being helped. She has an eating disorder, I can tell.
Either the younger girl or both younger kids are coming to stay with us this Summer. I'm elated, because I really love those kids and love spending time with them. My son loves spending time with them. My husband loves them. Truth be told, we would keep them if we could. All of them. The oldest one knows that she can stay with us for college if she wants to. I really struggle with how much to be there for them. I don't want to be overstepping my role.
And honestly, each time I hear something bad, I like my sister less. It makes it harder for me to be friends with her knowing she doesn't think about her kids. The dad of the younger kids will say things like, "She doesn't seem to like being with the kids" and I have to keep my mouth shut because I can't badmouth my sister, and also he's her ex so maybe he's exaggerating, but secretly I feel like he's right. What do I do? Has anyone else had this?
And my sister and I grew up in terrible abuse situations, separately. Which makes all of this worse. Adds to my feelings of wanting to help them.
My older niece told me the same things a few years ago when she moved out to live with her dad. She actually said that my sister did not care about her and put all of her adult emotions on her. My older niece was raped, twice, and I had to force her to tell her parents. I'm not sure they really got her help. I sent her some books and I try to talk to her, but I'm still not sure she's being helped. She has an eating disorder, I can tell.
Either the younger girl or both younger kids are coming to stay with us this Summer. I'm elated, because I really love those kids and love spending time with them. My son loves spending time with them. My husband loves them. Truth be told, we would keep them if we could. All of them. The oldest one knows that she can stay with us for college if she wants to. I really struggle with how much to be there for them. I don't want to be overstepping my role.
And honestly, each time I hear something bad, I like my sister less. It makes it harder for me to be friends with her knowing she doesn't think about her kids. The dad of the younger kids will say things like, "She doesn't seem to like being with the kids" and I have to keep my mouth shut because I can't badmouth my sister, and also he's her ex so maybe he's exaggerating, but secretly I feel like he's right. What do I do? Has anyone else had this?
And my sister and I grew up in terrible abuse situations, separately. Which makes all of this worse. Adds to my feelings of wanting to help them.
