General How To Help An Amazing Guy?

[7.20.09]

Hello, first off I have always heard about PTSD but never realized the seriousness of how it affected everyone. (meaning not just the person with it)

Ok here goes... I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a month now. He was in the Marines and served a total of 22 months overseas as a "Grunt". He has seen some horrible things, just as I am sure all of our soldiers have. Anywho, some of us have wondered if my boyfriend has PTSD and this last weekend it was made very clear that he does. My cousins (currently on active duty) have talked to him and are looking into all of the resources for help and will present them to him today. I however want to know what I can do. I realize we have only been together for such a short time but we are very close. We have prayed together for healing with all of this and have tried to keep our faith as our foundation. I want him to know that I am here for him in any way I can be, but I also want to make sure that he does seek the help.

I realize he is a grown man and will do as he wants, but I hope and pray he wants help. I have seen just how angry he can get at the smallest things, seen him stay up all hours of the night because he is restless, I have also seen his bad anxiety attacks... What are some things I can say or do to show him I do care and that I am not leaving like he swears I will? Please help because I know he is an amazing guy... I just need to know how to handle all of this.

 

[WillIsurvive]

I can only tell you my own experience and what I have learned not to do. My husband was diagnosed 1 year ago. He's a retired 21 year army vet in the Canadian Army. His symptoms have progressively gotten worse. Anger comes out of the smallest things, anxiety fills him like you wouldn't imagine. At first I used to try to soothe, sometimes I'd get mad and tell him to stop it. That was before I did a whole lot of reading and finally realized the seriousness of this illness.

Just this past weekend we finally communicated about the illness, how I feel, how he feels, and so on. I am learning to walk away and give him space. My husband will quite often just take off, go for a drive and at first I was taking it personally, but now I realize that he really does need that space.

Read, ask questions, feel your own pain and helplessness and take care of yourself. Suggest he get help and support him, love him. That's all you can do.
Good luck to you!

 

[pebbels]

Hello 7.20.09:hello:
Welcome to the forum, you are in the right place for good advice and great support.:smile: There are excellent threads written by carers for carers that will help you understand what rollercoaster ride you are about to embark on so it is important that you look after YOU as well whilst supporting your boyfriend.

One thread i would like to draw to your attention to is "Things you should know when dealing with ptsd" (as a carer)by Nicolette. This will help you heaps and there are many more.:thumbs-up

Wishing you and your Amazing guy all the best:Hug_emoticon:

Pebs

 

[7.20.09]

Thank you so much for the support. I was able to talk to someone yesterday that is a sufferer and has overcome it and found that her Faith has helped her. There are a few people we have found that my Amazing can turn to for help and guidance and I feel so great about these people. I have told him I am here to stay and here to help him and I have prayed over and over for God's assistance in this as well.

I am just so thankful that I have this place to turn to for knowledge and support. Because of all the posts I see here I know it's not hopeless. It won't be easy but anything that matters is worth fighting for.:Hug_emoticon: