I Get Scared In Front Of My Boyfriend

[pcengland1]

I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years this year. He knows I have PTSD, and he knows the effects it's had on me. I had a shower at his a couple of days ago and had another flashback. He was worried because I was in the bathroom for a while trying to ground myself. He gets upset, not towards me, when I'm scared to be intimate with him, not even in a sexual way, just hugging gets me upset. He told me he's scared I'll isolate myself again and to be honest I already have. I can't feel loved or safe anymore.

 

[Weedflower]

Hello,

I've been with my boyfriend for four years this year too. I have issues doing anything remotely sexual with him, sometimes even kissing is too sexual. I understand the fear.

Have you considered couples counseling? It seems like your boyfriend really cares about you, so I'm sure he'd be more than willing. It's worth it to try. Of course, if you're not comfortable with that, there are other ways. I tell my boyfriend he has to take things slow with me. He has to let me have all of the control.

Maybe that's what you need. To feel like you have more control. Start over with small things. A hand on your hand. A kiss on the forehead. Then go back to hugs and beyond. And you can be affectionate without touching him. Sometimes I don't want to be touched. so I just lay down next to my boyfriend. He knows that me being close to him like that is the same as me hugging him sometimes.

It might not work for you, everyone is different, but it's worth a try. I wish you a lot of luck. I know how hard this can be.

 

[pcengland1]

Hello,

I've been with my boyfriend for four years this year too. I have issues doing anything remot...

Thank you so much. I'll have to bring up the idea of couples counselling with him. I'm really happy your boyfriend is understanding too. People like that help with healing just that little bit more. <3

 

[Weedflower]

Thank you so much. I'll have to bring up the idea of couples counselling with him. I'm really happy...

And maybe in the long run, a lot more. :) We can be happy still.

 

[pcengland1]

:)

 

[Bloomy]

Go for a walk r sit down and explain what you need and ask if he can give it to you? Say you love him - assume you do - and want to be with him but this is the issues you struggle with?

Hope itll work out - wish you a good easter.

 

[pcengland1]

Go for a walk r sit down and explain what you need and ask if he can give it to you? Say you love him -...

Thank you, I'm going to try and build up the courage to ask him for a long cuddle. Happy Easter!

 

[Bloomy]

I had to learn to ask for what I need. Im still in practice and I know its hard. But also a relieve to learn it. Then the answer youll get is clear. Hopefully you get what you need. A good long cuddle sounds great. Oxytocin.

Happy easter.

 

[pcengland1]

I had to learn to ask for what I need. Im still in practice and I know its hard. But also a relieve to l...

I have a lot of learning to do :')

 

[Marie Miguel]

You need a therapist or a counselor.