I Get Why People Move Away.

[LuckyDuck]

So I went on vacation. It was fun, I finally started reading for the first time in years, and got to do a lot of cool things. I was happy.

Now that I'm back, I'm not.

It's back to the same old emotions.

I'm thinking of getting some medications in me, even though the last time the meds had me go in a fugue state. It was really horrible. I never want to go back to that, but meds have that 50-50 with me. It works or it doesn't. It might make me go on a trip to hell.

So I'm not sure exactly what the hell I've got for options.

LD

 

[RecedingMoonlight]

Dear Lucky,

I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm not in any way a medical source, but I remember my sufferer went through the same kind of habitual emotions upon returning back to her parents' home for the summer. She told me that according to her therapist, he was worried because returning in returning to familiar or old environments, the mind adjusts to familiar behaviors adapted from it. I'm not sure what kind of situation you're in at all, and of course I do recommend consulting a doctor first and furthermost, but maybe if you did something that's different like clean or rearrange the house, or maybe spend time outside of the house, maybe go out to a bookstore and sit down and read there instead, you might find different feelings? Again, not too sure what your situation is or what's available to you, but finding a way to disrupt those emotions from returning by doing an unfamiliar task might help just a little bit, at least until another solution appears.

I'm so, so sorry that you're feeling this way. I truly do hope for the best, it's hard to go through crap like that.

 

[LuckyDuck]

Thanks RM. I appreciate.

It's sort of like that. I think the hardest part is the doing. It's just sunk in for years on end, it's like there's no way to get out of it.

It's like a Tour De France, but instead of biking, you've got the bike on your shoulders. You're carrying it the whole way of the race, and trying not to lag behind. It's no wonder it's at this bloody stage, it's all you can do to smile to get through the next five minutes.

I have some projects. One big one, a book I'm illustrating. Never done something like this in my life, and it's like the one thing I'm actually wanting to finish. Give me 5 years.

I wish I could talk more on it but it's my first and I'm protective of it. I got that it's the project I'm working on. I'll do with that for now. Tomorrow I'll get out to start preliminary drawings.

I hope she feels better, or at least comfort in knowing the initial shock passes. You're a very good person, RM. Know that.

LD