Sufferer I Need A Good Support System

[snappy_turtle]

Hi all,

I am new to this forum, however, I've been dealing with PTSD for almost a year now from the day of my traumatic event. I've been seeing a behavioral therapist on a monthly basis starting from the week of the incident and it really has helped me with many of the obstacles I have had to face. I am currently not on any medication, and I hope to stay that way since I've always taken a hollistic approach to life. I frequently practice yoga and mindfulness meditation. My behavioral therapist has not suggested nor recommended that I be on medication since she continually tells me that she believes I'm a smart young lady with a great head on my shoulders and can logically reason through my obstacles on my own (apparently I've been doing that this whole time?! go figure?!).

I have a significant other who knew me for a very short period of time prior to my traumatic event, and so his exposure to who I was before is minimal. It makes explaining myself when my hyper-vigilance rears its ugly head all that more difficult. I love him but I know that if I don't contain my anger and anxiety soon, I'll be pushing him further away than I unfortunately already have. All in all, I know it's not fair to treat him the way that I do by going from 0 to 60 in a matter of 2 seconds when it comes to my anger.

Often times, I get overwhelmed with the laundry list of things I have noticed has changed about the kind of person I am and how I act. I miss hearing my significant other tell me that one of the reasons he loves me is because of how sweet a person I am.

He tells me that I read too much into his words. My tone of voice needs to convey that I'm not angry all the time, and I need to learn to let the little things go. However, most people with PTSD can relate to the behavior that when you get upset, there's no stopping you or trying to calm you down until it's completely out of your system.

To those who deal with hypervigilance and this sort of behavior, what is your best recommendation for coping with this sort of behavior? I've tried taking a walk but you can't always do that when time is limited. I've tried taking a deep breath and counting down from 10. That never has worked for me.

I've also tried writing down my feelings as an outlet and then reflecting on them for a day or so to see if it's worth being upset over with a calm head to start. The writing works the best for me. It makes me able to coherently communicate my thoughts and ideas, and shows that I've put a lot of thought into what I'm saying so none of it comes out sounding hurtful or emotionally swayed. The only issue with this coping method is that you can't just stop a conversation with someone to go grab your PTSD journal and start writing. People don't like that - they think it's rude to just get up and say "hold on, let me think this through first", especially when your face and tone of voice are showing you're upset. People usually want to resolve issues as they see them surface.

I truly don't know what to do. I feel like I've started to really make good progress, and regulating my blood sugar definitely helps with maintaining the consistent level of anxiety instead of the regular daily amount to dips of really really bad anxiety at times. I know seeing my behavioral therapist once a month isn't enough, but that's all my insurance can cover and that's all her schedule permits. In essence, I'd like to be able to have a support system here that I can talk with others about different methods they've tried to help cope with their PTSD, and to be able to help others, too.

Thanks for your time and patience with regards to reading through my post. :)

 

[intothelight]

Hi Laurie,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

I just wanted to say, your writing technique and allowing for a cooling off period is a really good method. Even though people want to resolve something right away, there is nothing wrong with agreeing to table a discussion when emotions are running high and discussing it later. If it is something your significant other agrees to do, then it will work for the both of you.

I hope you find the information and support here beneficial as you work on healing.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[Eleanor]

Welcome to the Forum (and the Happiness Challenge!) snappy turtle!:)

I agree with ITL.

With respect to listening and tone - it may be that you are getting things that aren't there, or that ARE but we normally filter out or de-prioritize. Which do you think it is?

Anxiety is a tough nut to crack, and a total b***h to deal with. Try everything. Do the experiments. Keep at them for a couple of weeks and find out what works for you. You'll get a bag of tools you can work with eventually.

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

 

[Olivia Felton]

Hi there! I am also new to the forum. I deal with PTSD, hypervigilance, and anxiety. I am a medically retired police officer who had a psychotic break during a very bad call.

I noticed that there is a list of recommended books that might be helpful to you. I own just about all of them, lol.

I do take medicine, but there are a few non drug ways that sometimes work for me. It sounds weird, but I have found that some of my panic attacks can be dealt with by singing. I mean turning up the stereo and just belting out the words. The theory is that it keeps you breathing. It doesn't matter if you don't sing well, because the point is to keep you breathing in a regular manner because you don't breathe properly in an attack.

Of course, I am house bound, so I don't have to worry about people hearing.:)

As far as people go, well, my hypervigilance just does not bode well for them. I have a gigantic personal space. It extends 20 feet around me. My family, who helps me with my shopping and stuff, know to keep this distance unless I invite them in. They also know not to go into my feelings when I have a flash back because I wrote them a letter telling them why it is not helpful. They were so very glad to learn how they could be inadvertently making it worse for me.

So, yes you CAN leave and go write in your journal. It might be hard or embarrassing to tell people you have PTSD or anxiety issues, but once they know and more importantly know how to help you, they will be more tolerant.

 

[Eleanor]

It sounds weird, but I have found that some of my panic attacks can be dealt with by singing.

Olivia! Welcome as well! and thank you for this. I have been thinking a lot about the very question that brought me to this form years ago lately. That question was "what do I do when he is in an episode?" It has shifted to a more specific question: is there anything to do to get him OUT of or avoid an episode. The avoiding/preventing thing is mostly what we've been working on (reducing stress, identifying triggers, processing old trauma) but we had an experience yesterday that got me thinking. He was very edgy, had slept badly etc. and we went to a fun house with a huge bounce house and after 20 minutes or so of jumping/playing in the bounce house he was... Fine. Not edgy at all. So I am wondering if changing the state of the central nervous system (that controls breathing, balance, movement coordination etc.) could shift the emotions that drive the PTSD attacks in our family?

Can you say some more about the singing thing? How does this work for you?

 

[Olivia Felton]

Hi Eleanor! What a lovely name you have!

The singing will only work for me if I catch my my panic attack in its early stages. Like when I feel that first flush of chemicals flooding in my body. It is almost like having a hot flash. But when I do identify it, I flip on the radio and really concentrate on the songs. The act of singing requires you to control you breathing, a quick inhale then a drawn out exhale. This prevents you from getting too much oxygen in the brain. It slows down your heartbeat from the adrenaline rush.

Since I am concentrating on the words, it redirects my brain from focusing too much on my body's reaction, which breaks the cycle of "I am going to die".

Another non drug trick I have is to play some sort of concentration game, like mah jong or a hidden object game on my tablet. It is also about redirecting my brain from that chemical cocktail that says I need to run away or die.

As far as my flashbacks, so far I haven't discovered a way to prevent those. Police sirens, ambulances, even the news will set those off. I had a flashback once when my sister was here. I think it was an ambulance that went by. I froze and she mistakenly thought that hugging me and telling me I was safe would help. I (in cop-mode) did a take down on her. Luckily she wasn't hurt, but she now will clap her hands to try to jolt me out of it...from.a distance.

 

[WillyKat]

Snappy, welcome.

I have a similar take about medications; they didn't do me much good. I also agree about physical well-being. I'm not so sure yoga is such a good idea for me (back issues) but I think its probably great generally. (I just read a book, something like "Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga".)

Something I read recently was working for me in regard to dealing with triggers, things that set me off: visualize those things as having a size, shape, and color (rocks work for me). Then imagine walking around them toward something or someone beautiful and loving.

Hope that helps!

 

[DharmaGirl]

Hi, Snappy, love your name. I also use mindfulness meditation. I do my morning practice every day, then as needed throughout the day.

I have always taken my anger out on myself, but now it is coming to the surface more since I am progressing in therapy. I am trying to be present (mindful) when I am angry. It really helps with the anger. I don't feel as if I have to shout or say mean things. It really helps because I can be angry at someone but not allow that emotion to ruin my day.

I really think you can tell your boyfriend that you would like some time to journal and figure out things, then take a break. Especially if you two talk about using this strategy. When I get spiraled up, my son and his dad just kind of keep an eye on things and they don't engage in any argument with me. They help me get control of the hypervigilance by a key phrase. The key phrase is - "do you need some rest?" and I realize I need some alone time.

I have also been having a lot of panic attacks so I changed my morning meditation to Jack Kornfield's The Earth as a Witness guided meditation. It is a very grounding meditation and it is helping me a lot.

I hope you take full advantage of this excellent forum. There is so much info here, lots of support and the Happiness Challenge is a great way to changing your brain.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[Olivia Felton]

So I am wondering if changing the state of the central nervous system (that controls breathing, balance, movement coordination etc.) could shift the emotions that drive the PTSD attacks in our family?

There is a new form of therapy, EMDR, that has proven to be highly successful. It stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. There is a website that you can check, just Google it. The therapy addresses the principles that you expressed.

Because of the severity of some people's trauma, it needs to be done in a carefully controlled environment and should only be done by a therapist actually trained in the procedure. The website has a search function to find a clinician in your area.

When I am a bit further on in my recovery, like when I can leave the house, I plan to give this a go.

Thank you for sticking with your family member. I know it isn't easy to take care of us. Be sure to take some time to take care of yourself, as well.