Relationship Is Love Blind?

[Learning123]

Nothing more to say really, the question speaks for itself. I guess it sounds like I am asking, but personally it isn't at all...I have learned to see beyond it...... I think that some people are TOTALLY blinded by love and excuse everything in life, putting it down to PTSD, to a 'bad day' or just generally ignoring it because acknowledging it hurts too much when you love someone.... I fully admit that there have been times in my life where love was blind and particularly when I first posted on this forum..... I welcome any thoughts...

 

[Nicolette]

I think the comment "Love is Blind" has two aspects. One that you tolerate more from someone you love (like my teenager who I would love to strangle if he was someone else's child) and the other being that some people are co-dependent and the fear of being alone far outweighs putting up with being in an unhealthy situation and accepting treatment not normally deemed acceptable.

 

[Learning123]

lol yup I totally get the teenager thing! haha! Yes I think that was the point that I was making Nicolette, that sometimes in a relationship, you get treated badly and when you have a diagnosis such as PTSD or any other diagnosis, if you are dependent on them, it is VERY easy to put it down to the illness, when actually, regardless of the diagnosis it is reality, and in reality, despite the diagnosis, if they cant treat you with respect, regardless of the diagnosis, is it worth it???

I guess every situation is different, but I see a lot of people on here, including myself initially, saying 'oh but it's the PTSD' when in reality it is either a) so much more or b) yes it is partly PTSD but actually that is the way it is now, so rather than try to control it...just accept it and move forward.

And believe me I am not criticising, I am as guilty as the next person, but having had a long time to think about it I have clarity. I guess one MAJOR thing that I have learnt on this site, ' you cannot control anyone but yourself'

 

[Nicolette]

Learning123 you are getting it....... It's really quite simple. Illness or not, you deserve to be treated appropriately.

As I wrote elsewhere on this forum today... a quote I heard yesterday....... "accept less than you deserve and you will get less than you accept".

 

[njray]

Interesting question.........May I ask the definition of Love? I agree the respect thing is huge... a core value I think... If one does not know what love is how can he/she give it and recieve it?

 

[amethist]

There are also those who think that love can conquer all, and all that is need to fix PTSD is a huge amount of love.

As many supporters and sufferers are learning, including me at times, is that love alone is useless. Without both sides working together, both working for the same end, then this is where love can become blinded by what is going on.

So as supporters we have to take off the rose tinted specs and see PTSD for what it is.

While we may always love our sufferer, sometimes staying together is not possible, for so many reasons. For those who do manage to stay together, it is not just love that has kept them strong, but the determination not to let PTSD tear them apart. Even then scars are left and a whole new outlook on life as you knew it and had planned for has gone.

For those who were together before PTSD invaded your lives. If you have the strength to fight the PTSD and win, then the love you will have is different from what was before.

Tough love can play a major part in their recovery too. Being tough with them, so you can set the boundaries needed, for your own sake as well as their's.

This is just my take on what you are asking learning 123.

 

[becvan]

Simple answer, no love is not blind, people are.....