First time I dissociated i was in elementary school. I was accused of hiding the car keys from my mom. She decided to beat the truth out of me. I was awake and was completely unaware. Now, 50 years later if I find myself in an uncomfortable siruation, usually a situation where I feel anger, I become unaware of the present moment. Usually the flashbacks of other situations from my past where I was defenseless and angry, would begin a month or so after the present trigger event. From flashbacks to panic attacks making it an overwhelming task to grasp onto reality. This can go on for 6 months leaving me exhausted...then suicidal ideation, guilt until finally victory....whew!!! I hate it
