It's Hard Waiting It Out

[thomas.robinson.54966]

I have emailed tried to call. She has shut me out. I want to drive to her house after work. I have this urge I have to. Please someone advise me. I am triggered by all of this.

 

[dutchiedelta]

It might be unwise to drive by her house Thomas.
If you can imagine how it feels to be her, maybe you can see it would feel like stalking to her?
You have emailed, called and she doesn't want contact now it seems.

Nobody can tell you what to do but is it possible to take a step back?
Look at things as they might seem to an outsider?

Just trying to think if your actions might get you in trouble. That's all.
If a man would call and email and I'm not responding, it'd come across as pushing things if he stopped by the house.

Is there anything you can do to get into a different track?
Counselor, friends, family?

Your brain seems to be on overload and stuck in one groove my friend.
What would you need to get you on a different track?

 

[thomas.robinson.54966]

I don't know Dutchie. I know she reads these. I just don't know. My chest hurts from This. And other bodily s ailments I don't wish to discuss. Its making me sick. I wish I could turn back time. I love her. I just don't know what to do.

 

[Friday]

No. Stalking.

You don't win someone back by ignoring what they ask you to do and scaring the bejeesus out of them showing up places. Ya hear?

 

[Raven]

I'm assuming she doesn't have a restraining order against you. You can go to her house, knock on her door, and tell her that you just want to talk. She may slam the door in your face or she may talk to you.

I think if you pay her a visit, she might be flattered that you're going to such great lengths to reach out to her. Or she might be annoyed. It's a gamble.

I say go for it. Her reaction will be very telling as to whether or not she's a truly lost cause.

If she wants none of it, then you'll have to leave her alone.

 

[dutchiedelta]

There you go. Three females. Three different reactions.
Hoping you get some peace of mind cos you sound pretty upset.

 

[thomas.robinson.54966]

Thank you. I just turned my car around. Going somewhere to get my heart right. Thank you

 

[thomas.robinson.54966]

Thank you. I don't want to scare her or trigger her. I just wish J would just talk to me.

 

[thomas.robinson.54966]

I don't know how long I can hold on this though I have a bad feeling it's going to be an interesting weekend

 

[Friday]

This is why I shoot for boring.
Boring really doesn't get then cred it deserves.
Boring is effing awesome.
Says the adrenaline junkie.
But seriously, I can get that adrenaline in totally boring, legal, non-f*ck-up-my-life ways.
Or I can put on the autopilot and f*ck up my life for kicks.
What I "want" can usually be met in at least 2 different ways.
Want to fight? Gyms are better than bars are better than nearest asshole.
Want to be loved on? Puppies are better than bad relationships are better than restraining orders.

 

[thomas.robinson.54966]

That's awesome. You are right, she always claimed he understood PTSD. She is even a member of the non combat side of this group. She was just another bull shitter who made the choice of herself. I am not the first she has let down either. I am better off without the restraining order and being tased. She hides behind the law instead of just talking to me. Right now I would even walk away quietly if she would just call me and break it off with respect without trying make me hurt as much as she can. Without destroying my heart. Sorry s bout the tangent. I am trying to suck it up. Thanks everyone.

 

[dutchiedelta]

Correction. Most likely she is incapable of truly feeling what goes on inside you.
You have an idea of how the ending of a relationship ought to be.
She has her own habits and rules.
Violence can make a woman or man withdraw.
We are who we are. Up to you to respect her boundaries or not.
Depends on what you aim for in the long run.

Let her breathe and give her space? Overload her with attempts for contact.
Mercy know what she needs.
One ex bff was pushing for contact which resulted in the opposit.
others might think it romantic.
Anyone ever stalking me is in for a nasty surprise or two.