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Sufferer Just looking for people who understand - Childhood trauma, wife OD’d, isolated & unable to answer getting to know you questions.

Gonz

New Here
Hi everyone, I’m Gonz. I, uh, don’t really know what to say here, so I guess here’s a bit of info about me.

I’m a 42 year old widower. My wife died from an opiate overdose. What would have been her 40th birthday just passed, and the 7 year anniversary of her death is coming up.

I have PTSD stemming from certain childhood events. Specifically, I experienced a violent sexual assault at age 8 and witnessed several acts of pretty extreme violence (or the immediate aftermath) in my teens and earlier.

I went undiagnosed and untreated for pretty much my entire life until a few years after my wife’s death. I had basically locked myself away in a single room all day every day, abusing dissociatives until I had a heart attack, and for the last few years I’ve been trying to put my life back together.

I’m now in treatment, meds and therapy, and was recently approved for disability. I no longer have any sort of social circle, and doubt my ability to form a new one at this point.

It’s pretty much impossible to have even a basic getting-to-know-you conversation without revealing very personal things that I’d rather not share. I mean, I can’t even answer questions like “what do you do for work” (I don’t) or “where do you live” (in a camper on my parents’ property) without revealing how messed up my life is and inviting more questions.

My therapist has been strongly recommending that I find ways to reduce my isolation (my weekly visits with her are the only time I leave home), and has suggested support groups for people with similar issues in order to avoid any stigma or judgement (real or perceived), in hopes that I can be less guarded.

There are no in-person groups nearby that I would be eligible to join, so here I am. I think it might be easier to talk about this stuff anonymously anyway.

I’m looking forward to getting to know everyone.
 
Hi everyone, I’m Gonz. I, uh, don’t really know what to say here, so I guess here’s a bit of info about me.

I’m a 42 year old widower. My wife died from an opiate overdose. What would have been her 40th birthday just passed, and the 7 year anniversary of her death is coming up.

I have PTSD stemming from certain childhood events. Specifically, I experienced a violent sexual assault at age 8 and witnessed several acts of pretty extreme violence (or the immediate aftermath) in my teens and earlier.

I went undiagnosed and untreated for pretty much my entire life until a few years after my wife’s death. I had basically locked myself away in a single room all day every day, abusing dissociatives until I had a heart attack, and for the last few years I’ve been trying to put my life back together.

I’m now in treatment, meds and therapy, and was recently approved for disability. I no longer have any sort of social circle, and doubt my ability to form a new one at this point.

It’s pretty much impossible to have even a basic getting-to-know-you conversation without revealing very personal things that I’d rather not share. I mean, I can’t even answer questions like “what do you do for work” (I don’t) or “where do you live” (in a camper on my parents’ property) without revealing how messed up my life is and inviting more questions.

My therapist has been strongly recommending that I find ways to reduce my isolation (my weekly visits with her are the only time I leave home), and has suggested support groups for people with similar issues in order to avoid any stigma or judgement (real or perceived), in hopes that I can be less guarded.

There are no in-person groups nearby that I would be eligible to join, so here I am. I think it might be easier to talk about this stuff anonymously anyway.

I’m looking forward to getting to know everyone.
Hi Gonz,

Thank you so much for sharing your story and reaching out to the community here at myptsd.com. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife and the traumatic events you've experienced in your life. It takes a lot of strength and courage to open up about these experiences and seek support.

I'm glad to hear that you're in treatment now and receiving professional help through medication and therapy. That's a great step towards healing. Connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences can also be incredibly helpful in your journey towards recovery.

Here at myptsd.com, you have found a safe place where you can freely discuss your feelings and experiences without the fear of judgment. Many members in this community have also experienced trauma and can understand what you're going through, as they have their own unique stories to share.

Isolation can be a difficult and lonely experience, so I commend you for reaching out and taking steps to reduce it. Being able to connect with others who truly understand can bring a sense of validation and support.

As you mentioned, it can be challenging to engage in small talk or answer questions without revealing personal aspects of your life. That's why this platform allows for anonymity and provides a space where you can share openly without fear of repercussions.

If you're interested, we have specific forums on myptsd.com where you can discuss different topics related to PTSD and CPTSD. From navigating daily life to finding coping strategies and building connections, there are many threads available that may be of interest to you.

While the peer support here can be incredibly helpful, I also want to encourage you to continue your professional treatment. It's important to have a comprehensive approach to your healing journey.

Once again, welcome to our community, Gonz. We're here to listen, support, and empathize. Take your time to explore the resources and threads available. If you have any questions or need any assistance, please don't hesitate to reach out.

Warm regards,

Riley Jones
 
Hi Gonz, welcome, I think you'll find others here who get it.
Sorry for all you've been through, well done on getting clean and rebuilding your life
Signed someone who finds those basic questions about your life tricky too.
 
Welcome to the forum.

I went through a very difficult stage where the only reason I left my apartment was to go to therapy. It was not an easy existence. Hope that things get a little easier for you soon.

Have you got a furry friend? A lot of us find our way back to human interaction by starting with the non-judgmental and unconditional love of a pet.
 
Welcome to the forum.

I went through a very difficult stage where the only reason I left my apartment was to go to therapy. It was not an easy existence. Hope that things get a little easier for you soon.

Have you got a furry friend? A lot of us find our way back to human interaction by starting with the non-judgmental and unconditional love of a pet.

A pet is an excellent idea for anyone in a good position to care for one, but unfortunately that’s not me right now. But I do agree with you. I’ve had dogs for pretty much my entire life until recent years; I think being around them is good for the soul. My parents, sister, and aunt have me watch theirs sometimes, for now I content myself with that.
 
A pet is an excellent idea for anyone in a good position to care for one, but unfortunately that’s not me right now. But I do agree with you. I’ve had dogs for pretty much my entire life until recent years; I think being around them is good for the soul. My parents, sister, and aunt have me watch theirs sometimes, for now I content myself with that.
Silly suggestion but our animal shelter here has volunteer walkers that take the dogs awaiting adoption out for walks and play time. Might be worth checking out. You get to hang out and play with a few dogs or a dog, they get exercise.....
 
Welcome.

Sorry for what you've been through.

No judgement here at all. Nothing to judge. Just people trying to work through trauma and finding better ways to exist.

Volunteering at an animal shelter sounds a great idea! Could just be an hour a week and build up?

In terms of sharing info. Maybe if someone asks where you live you could say something like "in X town" or "I live in my own". No need to give info you don't want to and there might be another way of answering that doesn't feel like over exposing yourself.
 
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