I did the injections at The Ketemine KarWash (subsidiary of Kwiky Mart Ketemin) meaning... the clinic had no "prep" besides "what Insurance do you have" and "your life is about to change!" (Hearing that, I fixed her with a steely glare and hissed... "don't
ever say that again." Really - I ain't buyin' )
Truth be told - ketemine hit me like a 2x4 hits a piñata... in a good way. That's the big picture. Here's the detail...
There are 2 schools of thought;
A. The molecule's the thing.
B. The experience is the thing.
So... I'm going with door B. Covers both bases. Ketamine is interesting. It acts like a completely different drug (experientially) at different doses. At the lower doses (they start u here) it's like ecstasy. I asked the clinician if she would marry me. Really, I did. She didn't say yes. (She didn't say no either. I'm not bad looking and I told her I had a fat 401k and envisioned us on an island in the pacific

)
A middle dose is a bit trippy. I think thats why they have the a projector making stars on the drop ceiling and nature type scenes on a big TV (above the plastic plants.) All easily digested distraction / disguise for those not really interested in experiences... "
What the hell was THAT?" "Oh. That was just the TV/star projector ambiance thing sir... it happens"
And then there's a dissociative dose. This is where the B. people want you to go. (The A. clinics probably stop at trippy. I wouldn't know... I was with B. people).
And THEN... there is the K-hole. I had done my homework, had two sessions left, and was not convinced I had taken this as far as possible. Depression wise, I cant lose - right? So... I keep telling them to crank it up. Im no stranger to substances and I'm in a (somewhat) supervised setting. I wanted to see where this could go...

. but that's another story.
The piñata. There was still some depression. Its not a miracle cure. Its not like getting the perfect SSRI or tranquilizer dialed in. But my cognitions got shaken up. The needle jumped out of the groove. Little bite sized pieces of me... are all over the lawn (parking lot - whatever.)
Now this may all be just coincidental, but in the following few months...
I discovered cPtsd and that I matched EACH criteria. Except social disfunction. I love being with people... I got game. The fact that I haven't been out of my house in 3 years hasn't changed that. I can banter with the trash guy or the mail guy all day.
I've tossed the rest of my diagnosis in the trash. Pete Walker says if cPtsd was completely recognized, the DSM would be a small pamphlet. I agree.
I discovered that Mom wasn't just a borderline... she was a malignant (sadistic) narcissist.
I found Dick Schwartz, IFS and the framework and capability to conceptualize humans (mom, me, the X) In multidimensional ways... ie; accurately, without irreconcilable observations.
Previously resistant to join a club of the traumatized ( Im aware of the kind of things that go on in this world and most of them didn't happen to me) Im now thinking 15 years of being molded by a sadist gets me a membership card. I now see, why I was in a cult, why I married a narcissist, why I was on family sized portions of psychotropics, why tomorrow morning I will be wailing and gnashing my teeth (post bible terms; flashback with a heaping side of NSSI) and why my new best friend is going to be this website.
Ketamine. Worth it? Depends what your looking for I guess.