Peace all,
I'm doing okay now, but have hit some bumps and need some insight from folks who darn well know what is going on.
Quick History: I was sexually abused by my sister who was sexually abused by mom's friends, mom was sexually gross around us, bad boyfriends, etc...set up for bad marriage to mentally ill guy (simmering anger always ready to overflow for no reason) who used religious language to righteously humiliate me, throw me around, and rape me for years. Amazing I am still deeply in love with God after all that!
Quick Clinical History: I've had a pile of therapy (5 years in the marriage until I left, 3 years afterwards, therapist said I "graduated") and presently take Wellbutrin for continuing depression and anxiety (although I could use a bump up and am referred to a psych doc to get what I need--should be a few weeks--no emergency).
Quick Symptom Fun: I am extremely sensitive to anger, simmering or otherwise, and anyone who insists I do something without my explicit intent, especially anything having to do with religious authority. Nearly anyone who treats me this way will get an entirely irrational panicked speech that they are hurting me. The person typically has no idea what is going on. Or my own anger will spill right out over the edge, I'll say one thing to defend myself such as "I will not be treated this way" and get out of the situation.
So that's the short of it! Hello and I hope to learn a lot from you all!
Peace,
Melange
I'm doing okay now, but have hit some bumps and need some insight from folks who darn well know what is going on.
Quick History: I was sexually abused by my sister who was sexually abused by mom's friends, mom was sexually gross around us, bad boyfriends, etc...set up for bad marriage to mentally ill guy (simmering anger always ready to overflow for no reason) who used religious language to righteously humiliate me, throw me around, and rape me for years. Amazing I am still deeply in love with God after all that!
Quick Clinical History: I've had a pile of therapy (5 years in the marriage until I left, 3 years afterwards, therapist said I "graduated") and presently take Wellbutrin for continuing depression and anxiety (although I could use a bump up and am referred to a psych doc to get what I need--should be a few weeks--no emergency).
Quick Symptom Fun: I am extremely sensitive to anger, simmering or otherwise, and anyone who insists I do something without my explicit intent, especially anything having to do with religious authority. Nearly anyone who treats me this way will get an entirely irrational panicked speech that they are hurting me. The person typically has no idea what is going on. Or my own anger will spill right out over the edge, I'll say one thing to defend myself such as "I will not be treated this way" and get out of the situation.
So that's the short of it! Hello and I hope to learn a lot from you all!
Peace,
Melange
