Never Been In A Relationship

[Grace511]

I have never been in a relationship. I am 24 and it is really starting to depress me. I know its because of my traumas and ptsd. Im very closed off and quiet.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome to the Forum! I hope you will be able to get some ideas about working on finding a relationship. I was married 4, yes, 4 times because I thought I wasn't 'complete' without a partner!

The truth is, that you have to have a good relationship with yourself before you can offer one to someone else! So many people have 'given themselves away' by 24, that they can't have 'new' or 'special' things. You, on the other hand are not jaded by bad relationships.

Give yourself a break and realize that 24 is really quite young in comparison to me...I am 57. (OUCH) You have an empty 'canvas' on which you can make sure that will remain untarnished until you find the 'right' one. The WRONG way to find the right one, is to be looking for them. They will come when you are happy and comfortable in your own skin.

Blessings of peace & love to you!!

 

[therisa]

@Grace511 I can relate to your posting, as I am, in the same position, but much older, in my early forties. There are times, I think, I will never meet Ms Right.

 

[RussH]

Grace start small, make some friends; people you can hang out with.

 

[DMerish]

I have never been in a relationship. I am 24 and it is really starting to depress me. I know its because of my traumas and ptsd. I'm very closed off and quiet.

I think "being in a relationship" is quite over-rated. There are lots of pitfalls to allowing one's self to be loved by someone else and to love someone else, especially for someone who had a difficult childhood or traumatic events occur in their life.

Mentioning that you're 24 and the lack of having a relationship is starting to depress you, IMO is an indication that something in you is lacking . . . loving yourself, just as you are, with faults and insecurities, just like everyone. And if you were in a relationship then you wouldn't feel bad. It doesn't quite work that way. Sure, two people can meet, feel destined to be together, but after a while things change. Things might get a bit stale, then that old starting to feel depressed feeling comes back.

To counter that, work on healing your traumas, develop good self-care practices and pursue your interests. Make a few same sex very close friends. If you do that (1) you'll be able to function in life to a fair or very good level, you'll (2) the likelihood of attracting someone that's not good for you will lessen and, (3) you'll develop a healthy self - an inner quality that you can get in touch with when life throws you challenges. Focus on inner peace and your own healthy development: everything else will fall into it's rightful place.

 

[estella]

Hey, I am 23 and I never had a boyfriend or kissed a boy till October this year. I met him on the meeting site and we chat for six months. For first five months we chat like friends. And then we started having cyber sex. We were both very excited about meeting in real life. He saw me once on the bus station before and recognised me but I didn't saw him. So finally we saw each other in the park. Nothing happened because I was too scared. He knew that I was a virgin and never kissed so he doesn't want to insist on a kiss. Second time we met in my apartment, he kissed me, and took my clothes off, licked my body... I was in a shock from time he kissed me and I didn't felt anything he was doing with me. We didn't have sex, but it was very close. After that he sent me a message and said that he didn't fell like he expected and that there was no passion between us and that he think we shouldn't see each other anymore. He said that we can still be friends but he never called me after that or sent me a message. I loved him so much. Now, I am totally broke.

 

[squirrel]

I understand that as I've never been in a relationship either. I know it might feel like it but a lot of people haven't yet and not everyone does until they are older. Sometimes it feels otherwise when everyone you talk too is in a relationship. But just take things slow by meeting and talking to new people when you can. It'll happen eventually and when it does you might be happy you took a little longer than most people. You'll find just the right person and not rush into it.