notJuliana
New Here
Hi Kyle in BC:
Thank you for posting. What really resonated with me was the part about people saying "you're not the only one who feels like this" in that kind of "get over it" or "nothing special about you and your supposed problems" kind-of-way. I've had that response when I've talked about just little parts of how bad I feel, and it completely shuts me down when I hear it. So hurtful!
It also reminded me of some remarks I came across in the "research" I've been doing to try and understand my own situation (I just posted my introduction here 5 minutes ago). Maybe it'll help you like it does me, to hear the words of a renowned and acknowledged expert on trauma who really gets it:
Trauma: “The people who suffer from it want to forget it because it’s too much. And society wants to forget it also. It’s not a popular subject. Just like traumatized people themselves are not popular people -- because they remind us about how irrational society is and that rational solutions cannot always take care of things. It stirs up a lot of issues, always.”
and: "The first thing with trauma treatment is that people can tell the truth about what happened. And that’s extremely difficult, because people are filled with shame, people get condemned for getting stuck in it, people say 'why don’t you get on with your life, why do you keep whining about the same old thing again,' and so traumatized people tend to get very isolated and locked up in their own misery …"
Bessel van der Kolk, from "How to detoxify the body from trauma" (7:37), a clip on Youtube.
I hope you will soon be feeling understood and supported, whether by the folks in this forum, or a therapist, or someone in your circle of friends or family, or all of the above!
Thank you for posting. What really resonated with me was the part about people saying "you're not the only one who feels like this" in that kind of "get over it" or "nothing special about you and your supposed problems" kind-of-way. I've had that response when I've talked about just little parts of how bad I feel, and it completely shuts me down when I hear it. So hurtful!
It also reminded me of some remarks I came across in the "research" I've been doing to try and understand my own situation (I just posted my introduction here 5 minutes ago). Maybe it'll help you like it does me, to hear the words of a renowned and acknowledged expert on trauma who really gets it:
Trauma: “The people who suffer from it want to forget it because it’s too much. And society wants to forget it also. It’s not a popular subject. Just like traumatized people themselves are not popular people -- because they remind us about how irrational society is and that rational solutions cannot always take care of things. It stirs up a lot of issues, always.”
and: "The first thing with trauma treatment is that people can tell the truth about what happened. And that’s extremely difficult, because people are filled with shame, people get condemned for getting stuck in it, people say 'why don’t you get on with your life, why do you keep whining about the same old thing again,' and so traumatized people tend to get very isolated and locked up in their own misery …"
Bessel van der Kolk, from "How to detoxify the body from trauma" (7:37), a clip on Youtube.
I hope you will soon be feeling understood and supported, whether by the folks in this forum, or a therapist, or someone in your circle of friends or family, or all of the above!
