New To The Site

[Shanna]

Hi everyone! I came to this site for a little advice and some support. I am engaged to my Marine and lately he has been showing signs of PTSD, he has served 4 tours in Iraq and Afghanistan.

He has told me a little about it and I know how bothered by some of it he is.

Well recently there has been alot going on at work and he is starting to have serious sleep issues, pains, eating problems and he has started to become withdrawn from me and can become very nasty towards me.

I mentioned to him a few weeks back about having PTSD and he said he can not let people know because he has to worry about his career, then said he is fine he is strong and can handle it.

Well I wanna support him I do NOT wanna leave him because his outburst are from having this and the last thing I wanna do is have him loose another person he loves again.

PLEASE help I love this man and extremely worried about him because it its effect EVERY part of his life and he does have alot of pride I'm worried and feel helpless

 

[amethist]

Hi Shanna

Welcome to the forum.

It is very supportive of you to try and help him with this. Unfortunately until he admits to himself he has a problem, there is very little you can do, apart from educate and take care of your self.

The more you push and prod him to go find any help, the more he will keep denying he has a problem. Gentle suggestions, leaving the odd print out may help, maybe even suggest he take a look at the Combat PTSD Forum too, but no guarantees. You can find the link to that at the bottom of this post.

Pride of being a strong marine could also be part of his denial, as he said he is strong enough to handle it all. The strength also comes when they finally do admit they cannot cope with it alone, as he will need more strength than he ever thought possible.

In the mean time, keep your own health strong, you may need more than you can imagine right now. This roller coaster is a rough one to ride, for anyone.

Take care.

Amethist

 

[Shanna]

Thank you, I know his pride is playing a big part on his mental state. I can only imagine feeling so completly out of control and feeling like so many things are going wrong in your life and not even no where to begin to fix it.

He has talked to me about what is going many times but I'm sure not in detail. He snapped on me 2 days straight in the start of the week then aplogized for it.

I dont know if I should let him be for a few days and wait til he gets things straight in his mind or continue to talk to him so he knows Im still here for him. I dont know the right way to respond to him at times because I dont wanna push him because I dont know what goes through someones mind when these issues come to the top of someones mind and is in an (for lack of better term) "episode"

 

[KP the nut]

Hi Shanna, I'm sorry you are going through this. There are others here with a lot more knowledge of what you are going through, but as Amethist has said it has to be his decision.

I just wanted to say welcome.

Take care
KP

 

[Shanna]

I only brought him having it one time and that was it. My brother was in Irag and my dad were both in the Corp so I know tha I shouldnt push certian issues if even bring them up. My thing is I dont know how to react to him when he is having a bad day bad week or just having a hardtime with something in his life

 

[MurphyJB]

Hi Shanna.
Welcome to the forum. What you're dealing with is rough, I know...but don't assume it's PTSD. There are many other disorders that display some of the same symptoms. Encourage your fiancé to go to a doctor...maybe he cols go to a private doctor, instead of going through the Marines? (if he is diagnosed though, he HAS to tell his commanding officer.) Reassure him that PTSD isn't a death sentence for his career. my boyfriend was diagnsosed while still into Corps, and they asked him to re-enlist.
Good luck with everything.

MJ

 

[HopefulChristian]

Hi Shanna,
My hubby is a Marine. I think it's very hard for them to admit they have any emotion. I would just tell him that you are there for him if he ever wants to talk. It has taken my Marine 2 years to admit of a few traumatic events that took place on one deployment (which was again 2 years ago).
There are a few places you or your Marine can call and not give your name.
www.giveanhour.org
[DLMURL]http://www.militaryonesource.com[/DLMURL]

I'll be praying for you. I certainly feel your pain of wanting to help.

 

[Shanna]

Thank you so much. its nice to hear that Im not alone Marines are diffently a diffrent breed and have alot of pride and are taught NOT to have any emotions let alone show them. I just wanna be there for and support him the best way I can. Just dont know how to react to him sometimes its hard but I wouldnt give up on him for nothing. thank you and you'll be in my prayers also

 

[Vee Lagrome]

I know how tough it must be for your husband to admit that he is struggling. While I was working as a parole officer, I didn't want anyone to know how much every day at work was a struggle for me and that I often went to the bathroom to pull my hair and cry. I thought I was weak and pathetic for being on-edge constantly and refused to admit that I needed support to cope with having the job and also living with PTSD. I can imagine the job is tougher for your husband because he probably developed PTSD while on the job.

I hope that you find all of the information and support you need to cope with the frustration that can be living with a partner who has those symptoms. Hopefully he will start to feel safe enough with you to admit that he could use some support, but like the others said, you can't make him get into therapy. I'm sure he will reach out for help at some point. Stay strong. :)

 

[NikkiNikki]

Welcome, my ex was also a Marine with ptsd. Your finance has to get help... untreated it will only get worse....I wish I would have known how serious this illness is and how important it is for them to get help. ((hugs))