Nightmares And "feelings"

[Grace511]

I have posted before about my molestation dreams but there is something I need to ask. Whenever I have these dreams I usually wake up right when someone begins to touch me. When I wake up I have a feeling in my genital area as if someone was touching me. Not sure what to think.

For those who don't know my background information, when I was 18 my Dad admitted to me that he molested my cousin long before I was born. He swears he never did it to me but after he informed me of this, I've only had a handful of these nightmares.

 

[samson]

Hi Grace511,
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I have had experiences like that from some sexual assault. I wake up feeling like he is in the bed with me, or doing something to me. My therapist says these are flashbacks for me. Because I know the event actually happened, my body is holding onto sensory memories that were frozen at that time because of panic.

I can't say that's what's happening to you. The power of suggestion can be a powerful thing. Have you thought of talking to a therapist. They should be able to help you sort out false memories from true ones. If you want to.

I hope these nightmares stop. They can be miserable.

 

[Grace511]

I plan on telling my T about this when I see her next week. I have written all of this down. I don't feel I can actually tell her about it so I will just let her read it.

 

[rightkindofme]

I have "phantom pain" when I suddenly think of a sexual assault. Sometimes the triggers are very small.

 

[just me here]

I almost never have dreams that involve an actual memory. I rarely remember anything from a dream.

My flashbacks come right after I wake up. They are very real and sometimes exactly as events happened. Sometimes I wake to the sound of a car crash, but I am sure it wasn't part of a dream, I am sure it is what woke me up, so sure I was just in a bad accident that it is sometimes associated with real pain, most of the time it is just fear and adrenaline.

I keep a radio on all night, low volume and enough light that I can see the furniture in the room. I force myself to acknowledge that it isn't real, I open my eyes and look around me, I touch my Wifes head, I feel her hair in my hands, I touch her face. I have to get grounded in here and now and then I start doing a breathing exercise or an objective look at what I am feeling- whats real, whats not, but not thinking bad or good, just taking stock without thinking in polarities like good and bad.

Or I go sit in another room and take a little internet time or some television or music or reading.