Nightmares

[Grace511]

Hi All,

As far back as I can remember, I often had nightmares about being molested. When I was 18 my Dad admitted to me that he molested my cousin long before I was born. He swears he never did it to me. After he informed me of this, Ive only had a handful of these nightmares.

Part of me wonders....am I also a victim and just dont remember or like any kid, was I just so terrified of it happening to me that I had nightmares about it?

I am now 23.

In those dreams it wasn't my Dad molesting me though (with the exception of one time) it was always different people.

People often say if you were molested you would remember....

I can remember bits and pieces of preschool and cant remember anything ever happening then but IF it did happen before I was 4 or 5...its all blank....

Im really confused

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Were you an extremely sexually aware child? I ask because I question why you would have nightmares about being molested unless a) you were actually molested or b) like you say, it was a fear. But, in order for it to be a fear, you would have had to know about sex, know it (abuse) was wrong, and know to fear it. Hence why I ask if you were extremely sexually aware because most kids at that age simply aren't.

My mom had the "good touch/bad touch" talk with me, but I don't think it registered. Kids at that age simply don't have the mind power to fully comprehend sexual abuse. I know I couldn't/didn't.

 

[Grace511]

I mean I knew what sex was and my Mom always told me not to let anyone touch me in certain places. She always told me "only married people do that".

 

[I Can Do This]

I think there are some interesting things you noted.

How would a child have nightmares about sexual abuse? How would they know anything about it? I don't think it is possible to dream about things that you don't know exist - and children don't typically know or comprehend such things.

I can't imagine a conversation where my father admits to molesting anyone! That is just the creepiest thing I ever heard of. And then promising you that he never did it to you - ech, there are no words. If he was a molester and that was in the past, in a specific circumstance for which he regrets and would never do it again - why the conversation so many years later?

Lastly - I read that the people in our dreams always represent us. So if you dream about all these other people molesting you - what you "analyze" in your dream is that YOU are every person in your dream. So you are molesting yourself - in essence. then you have to know what molesting means to you - is it exposing your vulnerability, is it powerlessness, is it sexual - what emotions do you feel as you are being molested in your dreams - and what emotions do the "others" feel as they molest you?

That is how the subconscious works through things in our sleep - and if you are having a recurring dream, then there is something that needs to be worked through. But it does not necessarily prove than anything like that happened to you - it is all symbols in our dreams.

 

[Grace511]

My Dad said he decided to tell me because my parents were going through a divorce and he didn't want it to come out from anyone other than him. In other words, he didn't want my Mom to tell me out of anger at him over the divorce.