Opposite Of Life

[fuzzypenguin]

I can't stop thinking about death. I have no intention but it's always on my mind now. I can't process anything. I'm keeping this short because I don't know what much to say. Any advice or opinions are always welcomed!

 

[Ronin]

What helps you think of death less?

If not at all is not doable, I'd go for lesser frequency or intensity, and work from there.

 

[kona355]

fuzzypenguin "I can't stop thinking about death."

When I get like this, thinking about death a lot, is when feelings of relentless pain, or despair and hopelessness set in and dying feels like the only relief. I know this is shortsighted on my part for I cannot see the future. It's just my experience.

Sorry, I zoned out before completing my thought - I'm usually able to trace the feelings back to distortions that slipped in unnoticed and when I don't catch them and begin to ruminate on the past or the future, despair and hopelessness set in, then here comes the SI.

 

[StarChild]

I can't stop thinking about death.

Hi @fuzzypenguin, one question for a better understanding; When you say you can't stop thinking about death, do you mean suicidal ideation, or do you mean that you're suffering from a great fear of dying?

 

[Deleted member 20978]

Is it a bad thing? I have had times of my life when I loved slasher films and metal. And I've known people, being a Buddhist, who get into the Tibetan Book of the Dead and such. Just saying it's not necessarily bad, but depends how it feels for you. Glad you're not having suicidal feelings. Those are definitely bad.

 

[fuzzypenguin]

@TreeHugger more so suicidal ideation. Not that I would ever act on it, it's just not leaving my mind- different ways... Ya know?

It's just bothersome it's something on my mind. It's not normal for me

 

[Ronin]

Do you know what changed, or when, @fuzzypenguin? As in, the time you experienced a different normal, as opposed to now? (Thinking if that was external, internal, combination; what of 'not thinking about death so much' times you could utilize now, and the like.)

 

[fuzzypenguin]

@Cashew I can't pinpoint anything. I haven't worked in a couple days because I'll be going back to school soon, but I don't see how that would change anything. I'll be seeing my counselor in a week or two (depending when I call and schedule) but I don't want her to worry, even though there so intent just a thought

 

[Ronin]

but I don't want her to worry

She is paid to worry, and help resolve, situations exactly like yours, though. You are helping her do her job.

Thing is that intent isn't there now, perhaps, but that doesn't guarantee thoughts won't change to acts within seconds on another of those days, just because so far, you've kept them in check. Better safe than sorry.

 

[fuzzypenguin]

@Cashew Yeah, I gotcha. Idk what I'll end up doing - whether telling her or not, but it depends on how I want to spend the session time when I see her.

 

[joeylittle]

@fuzzypenguin - what do you usually do in order to get your mind away from other kinds of persistent thoughts?

It can be very hard to have death (related to ideation) on your mind all the time - I've been dealing with that for a while now. Really simple mindfulness helps me a great deal, just putting my attention on something that is really happening in the moment I'm actually in. I also use some of the more basic grounding techniques if I need more help with that - just touching something nearby and putting my attention on what it feels like, or tasting something....anything to put my full attention in the present. And then I go back to whatever I was doing, only trying to stay fully present in it.

Some people can use music to help them re-gain attention; I can't, but it might be something you can also try.

Basically, instead of trying to stop thinking about something (in this case, dying), you find something you can think about instead.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think the original stage of thinking such thoughts can be reflective of one's true feelings or internal state atm. But I also guess (from my experience) it might be subconsciously some part of the mind's way of looking at methods. Or perhaps rather a 'soft sell' approach to make the SI more palatable or less gruesome to one's self. Because somewhere it goes from the "not an option' to the 'option' category. (For example, thinking such-and-such could be fatal--- to if I did that would it be fatal?--- to likely because of x, or not because of y--- to it would be nice to have relief (or whatever), etc. Then even if that passes- for now- at a bad moment you might come back to it, but the original thoughts or questions or modifications have been 'thought out' in your head. Next thing you know you've got a method. And the more they're present the more apathetic of the gross part of it one becomes. It just becomes a dispassionate means to an end.)

So I do think I'd bring it up. Simply because I don't think people feeling happy or hopeful find those thoughts arising.