OSDD-1A&B - Do I have OCD or do my alters? New here any insight is appreciated!

[PerfectlyUnknown]

Hello!

Really new here & going through lots of discovery and clarity hunting ! Even if it is just anxiety! I want to at least rule this suspicious out.

I’m wondering if I, as the host/body have OCD/OCDtraits or if maybe one or two states (alters) have OCD or OCD traits?

How would I determine this? I want to know how true it is that all of us on earth experience traits of any disorder as we are complex human beings? I do believe this but I am really unsure of where to draw the line.

Because I’m reading through the OCD diagnosis (UK) and subtypes and I have at one point in life experienced some of these thoughts/behaviours and/or still do them. I experience obsessions and compulsions. The same thing I said here about OCD is the same with Autism, BPD & ADHD! so feel free to talk about those also.

TLDR;

0.1) How to know if EYE have OCD or if I’m experiencing my alter’s personality?

0.2) Is this even worth thinking about? I am going through a cannabis induced intensification of what I normally feel, think, see, hear/experience when I was sober and throughout my whole life.

I really want to stress that I only started smoking daily at the beginning of September of this year all these thoughts and feelings have been here since I was able to comprehend that I was a “living and breathing human being” (dissociative acknowledgement). (I felt like I HAD to write that in the brackets rn, so you could be aware that my alters are shifting as I type this out).


THE LIST;;

Checking OCD
Obsession > Complusion


Counting OCD
Compulsion > Obsession


Existential OCD
(This presents heavily within my DPDR. Unable to determine if it’s moreso compulsion than obsession)


False Memory OCD
Compulsion > Obsession


Hoarding OCD
Obsession >>

OCPD (extremely rare to none existence)
Compulsion + Obsession

POCD (In the past. I have a few past sexual assault experiences)
Obsession

Pure O (Everyday. This is the only one worth mentioning if the others don’t exist. This is prominent)

Compulsion & Obsession.

(None stop rumination, autopilot 24/7 constant internal monologuing, intrusive sexual thoughts, no understanding of my self, identity, complete lost childhood memories/experiences.

Real Event OCD (all the time. ALL. The time)
Compulsion >> Obsession

Maladaptive daydreaming & Dissociation comes out really strong with this one. I daydream about what happened, change what I may say or add something on the end to the point where I’m acting this stuff out subconsciously when I’m by myself, moving my hands and arms to express the annoyance/frustration. Mouthing / whispering and hushed angry whispered of whatever the conversation is lol.

Responsibility OCD (This is deep rooted inside me lol. If anything one of my states (alters) deals with this)
Compulsion >>>> + Obsession

Religious OCD
Obsession >>>> compulsion

(This was really heavy when I was younger. I still haven’t dealt with the guilt of that and I can feel the bodily sensation rn even typing this out)

Sexual Orientation OCD
Compulsions >>>>>>>

All. The. Time. genuinely. Everyday and all the time. My alters? Or just identity crisis? Because I know it comes under that.

Suicidal OCD
Unsure, I deal with ideation daily. I also have thoughts on *how* to do these things and I will maladaptive daydream about doing them, my funeral and my family crying and missing me because I have 100% gone. In a specific state of mind I 100% believe that I could take my own life.

THE END

A lot of these obsessions / compulsions still happen on really “mute” (fogged over due to dissociation) scale.

Some of these haven’t happened in years due to who knows!

1. How common are these subtypes when it comes to OCD?
2. Do I HAVE it or just the traits since ALL of this isn’t present 24/7?
3. Am I just overthinking?

I haven’t smoked yet so this is all coming from my overthinking dome :) (probably coming down from it but again, I only started smoking the beginning of September 2025. I’ve had all these thoughts, feelings, behaviours and experiences before this.

Thank you. Hope you’re all having a nice morning.

 

[Rose White]

Regarding whether it’s you or your alters? Well, your alters are you, and if the ocd is manifesting in a way that is stressing you out then idk if it matters? I think a T would just focus on whatever is stressing you out the most, not sure.

I used cannabis daily for 15 years, and the last five years of that I was in therapy. I also drank daily for the final three years of that 15 years. I am sober for three years now. My therapist specialized in addiction and trauma. Even so I never told her when I was high or drunk in session, even though she likely knew, and she never asked me because she was used to addicts and could tell when it was serious. I mention this because there are some therapists who will refuse to see a client if they are impaired in any way. Maybe you need someone you can be open and honest about that with, but I thought you might like to know.

 

[PerfectlyUnknown]

Regarding whether it’s you or your alters? Well, your alters are you, and if the ocd is manifesting in a way that is stressing you out then idk if it matters? I think a T would just focus on whatever is stressing you out the most, not sure.

I used cannabis daily for 15 years, and the last five years of that I was in therapy. I also drank daily for the final three years of that 15 years. I am sober for three years now. My therapist specialized in addiction and trauma. Even so I never told her when I was high or drunk in session, even though she likely knew, and she never asked me because she was used to addicts and could tell when it was serious. I mention this because there are some therapists who will refuse to see a client if they are impaired in any way. Maybe you need someone you can be open and honest about that with, but I thought you might like to know.

The first bit is still confusing. I think once I find a psychiatrist & therapist who I can be open with like you said and specialises in all of this. I’ll come to understand.

But for your second point thank you so much. I think sometimes I can be too honest and I really want help seriously and I don’t know how to filter properly. So thank you, I appreciate it.

 

[Sideways]

Rumination and maladaptive daydreaming. Do you need to keep adding labels? Is that helpful?

As someone with DID, definitely some of my parts have dysfunctions that I don’t typically display. But like @Rose White said - they’re all me. No way is my T going to ‘diagnose’ one of my parts. That would be it’s own kind of dysfunctional!

Ultimately, the strategy is the same anyway. Get grounded, work through the dysfunctional thoughts and behaviours (preferably with a T).

And, in case this is a bit reassuring - the thing about personality disorders is that it’s perfectly normal to have traits from (a variety of) personality disorders. If there’s parts of the diagnostic criteria from a personality disorder that resonates with you? That’s totally normal.

 

[PerfectlyUnknown]

Rumination and maladaptive daydreaming. Do you need to keep adding labels? Is that helpful?

As someone with DID, definitely some of my parts have dysfunctions that I don’t typically display. But like @Rose White said - they’re all me. No way is my T going to ‘diagnose’ one of my parts. That would be it’s own kind of dysfunctional!

Ultimately, the strategy is the same anyway. Get grounded, work through the dysfunctional thoughts and behaviours (preferably with a T).

And, in case this is a bit reassuring - the thing about personality disorders is that it’s perfectly normal to have traits from (a variety of) personality disorders. If there’s parts of the diagnostic criteria from a personality disorder that resonates with you? That’s totally normal.

Yes it is helpful actually :) I’ve never been able to successfully articulate the emotions and experiences I have been through, this has lead to several other issues thus my reason for being here.

Thank you for explaining the next part. I am clearly in distress and asking these questions is the only way I can calm myself down for now until I speak to the professionals myself.

With the last bit, I think I just want to know. I have been emotionally abused and conditioned to act and think a certain way, I am fine and happy with focusing on the symptoms that’s what I’ve been doing for a while but I want & need to know what I officially have so I don’t gaslight myself into believing I’m fine and ignore all my issues again.

 

[Sideways]

Have you done assessments like the MMPI? Can be really helpful if you’re trying to get to know who you are, once you have stripped away the BS your abuser had you convinced about.

 

[whiteraven]

As someone with DID, definitely some of my parts have dysfunctions that I don’t typically display. But like @Rose White said - they’re all me. No way is my T going to ‘diagnose’ one of my parts. That would be it’s own kind of dysfunctional!

Same here. But if you are super concerned about a behavior that feels completely alien to you, find someone that works with DID, so they can help tease it out.

Ultimately, the strategy is the same anyway. Get grounded, work through the dysfunctional thoughts and behaviours (preferably with a T).

yes!

 

[shimmerz]

Am I just overthinking?

Yes, I think so. I used to do the same. I HAD to figure it all out. That was me using my left brain activation as a coping mechanism. Overthinking used to keep me occupied rather than feeling.
I guess my question is, what do you actually mean by OCD? I mean, you are describing aspects of it above - which is a very comprehensive list, but truly, how is it helping you to keep your focus on what is going wrong with you? Isn't that like a cat chasing its tail - the more messed up you are the more you get to try to figure it all out? That's not so healthy.

Questions I would ask myself are - what does it feel like when I put a plan into place so I stop counting? What happens in my head; in my body; to my emotions? Putting a plan into place to fill these behaviours with behaviours that feed health rather than dysfunction.

Be careful of the DID stuff. There are lots of rabbit holes that can be gone down that won't feed a healthy internal relationship. Compassion for each component will help you heal. Best wishes to you in your continued good health.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

I’m a system and have had severe OCD, and now it’s in remission, with tendencies scattered about through different parts. some have little to no pull to compulsions while others have some, and a couple more on the extreme end, in comparison. the approach is almost the same though, it can be beneficial to notice who in specific is struggling more, if it’s a mixed bag, but otherwise I don’t think it’s too important to work out which parts in particular have the most tendencies. If you’re experiencing them you’re experiencing them.

for me the ones with the most of the leftovers are the most unmanageably traumatised at the moment. the ones who struggle but seem to be able to manage better/are in their own remission are somewhere in the middle and the ones without any are either new and so don’t have much to do with sexual trauma, or have different problems that don't lean them into the remains of my compulsions.

It’s good to see what the underlying causes are regardless of if with DID or not. me it’s sexual trauma, knowing about that set off massive morality based ocd (but not related to religion). whats left now is more or less compulsions that are deeply engrained and connected with self punishment, so theyre kind of separate from the whole OCD cycle of doubt/fear -> compulsions-> relief -> repeat, but still their own problem.