Hey everyone,
I’m a 36-year-old guy in South Africa and I’m at the end of my rope. I don’t know where else to turn. I’ve tried local organizations and hospitals but it feels like no one wants to help — or worse, they’ve been influenced not to.
When I was 3 years old I was kidnapped while waiting for the creche bus. I was shoved into a suitcase, taken to a secluded flat, and brutally tortured for what felt like a long time. I was sexually abused, raped, burnt with cigarettes and hot irons, electrocuted, and forced to stay naked while groups of people watched, laughed, and treated it like entertainment. The police eventually rescued me after a standoff. I still remember the terror and the “why is this happening to me” feeling as a tiny child.
I also had serious head injuries later — a fall from a balcony onto concrete at around age 8 and being hit with a hammer in the head as a teenager.
For most of my life since then I’ve been dealing with what feels like organized stalking and relentless psychological abuse. It includes:
Hidden cameras in my home (I found and covered one in the ceiling).
Digital surveillance and control — they manipulate my YouTube feeds, playlists, ads, and have even used hacked headphones to replay old insults.
Public “theatre”: staged cruel rejections, people following me, dirty looks, taunting, and symbolic acts meant to mock me.
They’ve shown me porn of my neighbours, family members, friends, and random people I’ve seen in public, purely to humiliate me and laugh at my reaction.
Drink spiking, poisoning (confirmed by blood tests in hospital about a month ago — the poison takes ~2 months to leave the body), and multiple incidents that felt like attempts to harm or kill me.
Lifelong isolation and curated rejection — every time I tried to connect with someone, it was sabotaged in cruel ways.
I was never a danger to anyone. I’ve always tried to be friendly, mind my own business, work hard, and make music when I could. But they’ve kept me lonely, rejected, and broken for decades. When I cry or show pain, they use it against me and act like I’m the problem.
Right now I’m dealing with severe depression, learned helplessness, debilitating migraines, panic attacks (aura migrains, sleep paralysis, tinnitus, trembling), dizziness, fuzzy vision, and body pains. I feel completely hopeless. SADAG and TEARS Foundation haven’t been able to help me. Hospitals and doctors don’t seem interested either. It honestly feels like the stalkers may be paying people off or lying to them so I get no support.
I don’t know what to do anymore. Has anyone here experienced anything similar with organized stalking + childhood torture trauma? How did you find real help? Are there any organizations, lawyers, or doctors in South Africa (or internationally) that actually take this seriously?
I’m not looking for pity. I just want safety, proper trauma support, and a way to stop the abuse so I can finally start healing. Any advice or resources would mean everything right now.
Thank you for reading.
I’m a 36-year-old guy in South Africa and I’m at the end of my rope. I don’t know where else to turn. I’ve tried local organizations and hospitals but it feels like no one wants to help — or worse, they’ve been influenced not to.
When I was 3 years old I was kidnapped while waiting for the creche bus. I was shoved into a suitcase, taken to a secluded flat, and brutally tortured for what felt like a long time. I was sexually abused, raped, burnt with cigarettes and hot irons, electrocuted, and forced to stay naked while groups of people watched, laughed, and treated it like entertainment. The police eventually rescued me after a standoff. I still remember the terror and the “why is this happening to me” feeling as a tiny child.
I also had serious head injuries later — a fall from a balcony onto concrete at around age 8 and being hit with a hammer in the head as a teenager.
For most of my life since then I’ve been dealing with what feels like organized stalking and relentless psychological abuse. It includes:
Hidden cameras in my home (I found and covered one in the ceiling).
Digital surveillance and control — they manipulate my YouTube feeds, playlists, ads, and have even used hacked headphones to replay old insults.
Public “theatre”: staged cruel rejections, people following me, dirty looks, taunting, and symbolic acts meant to mock me.
They’ve shown me porn of my neighbours, family members, friends, and random people I’ve seen in public, purely to humiliate me and laugh at my reaction.
Drink spiking, poisoning (confirmed by blood tests in hospital about a month ago — the poison takes ~2 months to leave the body), and multiple incidents that felt like attempts to harm or kill me.
Lifelong isolation and curated rejection — every time I tried to connect with someone, it was sabotaged in cruel ways.
I was never a danger to anyone. I’ve always tried to be friendly, mind my own business, work hard, and make music when I could. But they’ve kept me lonely, rejected, and broken for decades. When I cry or show pain, they use it against me and act like I’m the problem.
Right now I’m dealing with severe depression, learned helplessness, debilitating migraines, panic attacks (aura migrains, sleep paralysis, tinnitus, trembling), dizziness, fuzzy vision, and body pains. I feel completely hopeless. SADAG and TEARS Foundation haven’t been able to help me. Hospitals and doctors don’t seem interested either. It honestly feels like the stalkers may be paying people off or lying to them so I get no support.
I don’t know what to do anymore. Has anyone here experienced anything similar with organized stalking + childhood torture trauma? How did you find real help? Are there any organizations, lawyers, or doctors in South Africa (or internationally) that actually take this seriously?
I’m not looking for pity. I just want safety, proper trauma support, and a way to stop the abuse so I can finally start healing. Any advice or resources would mean everything right now.
Thank you for reading.
