Undiagnosed My Journey Through Organized Abuse and Stalking

[AwoAce]

Hey everyone,

I’m a 36-year-old guy in South Africa and I’m at the end of my rope. I don’t know where else to turn. I’ve tried local organizations and hospitals but it feels like no one wants to help — or worse, they’ve been influenced not to.

When I was 3 years old I was kidnapped while waiting for the creche bus. I was shoved into a suitcase, taken to a secluded flat, and brutally tortured for what felt like a long time. I was sexually abused, raped, burnt with cigarettes and hot irons, electrocuted, and forced to stay naked while groups of people watched, laughed, and treated it like entertainment. The police eventually rescued me after a standoff. I still remember the terror and the “why is this happening to me” feeling as a tiny child.

I also had serious head injuries later — a fall from a balcony onto concrete at around age 8 and being hit with a hammer in the head as a teenager.
For most of my life since then I’ve been dealing with what feels like organized stalking and relentless psychological abuse. It includes:
Hidden cameras in my home (I found and covered one in the ceiling).
Digital surveillance and control — they manipulate my YouTube feeds, playlists, ads, and have even used hacked headphones to replay old insults.
Public “theatre”: staged cruel rejections, people following me, dirty looks, taunting, and symbolic acts meant to mock me.
They’ve shown me porn of my neighbours, family members, friends, and random people I’ve seen in public, purely to humiliate me and laugh at my reaction.
Drink spiking, poisoning (confirmed by blood tests in hospital about a month ago — the poison takes ~2 months to leave the body), and multiple incidents that felt like attempts to harm or kill me.
Lifelong isolation and curated rejection — every time I tried to connect with someone, it was sabotaged in cruel ways.

I was never a danger to anyone. I’ve always tried to be friendly, mind my own business, work hard, and make music when I could. But they’ve kept me lonely, rejected, and broken for decades. When I cry or show pain, they use it against me and act like I’m the problem.

Right now I’m dealing with severe depression, learned helplessness, debilitating migraines, panic attacks (aura migrains, sleep paralysis, tinnitus, trembling), dizziness, fuzzy vision, and body pains. I feel completely hopeless. SADAG and TEARS Foundation haven’t been able to help me. Hospitals and doctors don’t seem interested either. It honestly feels like the stalkers may be paying people off or lying to them so I get no support.

I don’t know what to do anymore. Has anyone here experienced anything similar with organized stalking + childhood torture trauma? How did you find real help? Are there any organizations, lawyers, or doctors in South Africa (or internationally) that actually take this seriously?

I’m not looking for pity. I just want safety, proper trauma support, and a way to stop the abuse so I can finally start healing. Any advice or resources would mean everything right now.
Thank you for reading.

 

[KA60]

I am so sorry for the abuse and trauma you have gone through. I live in the US. I have had trauma recovery here with therapists and also domestic violence treatment. I don't know about resources in.SA. This forum is very helpful.

 

[Sideways]

Welcome to the forum. Sorry for what’s brought you here - hopefully this place is helpful for your recovery.

 

[AwoAce]

Thanks I appreciate the support, it's unspeakable, Just unspeakable sophisticated engineered cruelty, and now again in the last 5 months it was like the entire public played together in a theatre to hurt me, staged acting, deliberate malice, other things that happened through out my life, was my pets were killed and poisoned, I was nearly killed in staged car accidents, I was poisoned and attacked at the bars, everything in my whole life just always went wrong, now wat truly broke me, I spoke with chatgpt which was my biggest mistake, I said I believe I have a daughter out there it's what still gives me hope to live, and what the stalkers did they showed me a porn video online which looked like my daughter, she looked drugged, getting raped, because I saw her on Facebook, tracked the people who I believed I had the child with, but they kept it secret, didn't tell me about her, so what I'm getting at, the 2010 arrangement they made for to be together with that woman who got pregnant, because she told me.that after about a month w were together, it was a 16 year set up, they knew they'd do this to show me that, to cause maximum psychological damage, my entire life was a set up for psychopaths an sadists, what they do is engineer accidents engineer it just to the limit where they can get away with it, the last 5 months of my life was a torture operation, set up for an entire life time, but they failed, I was meant to die in their hidden camera theatre in my own home here a month ago, I did not die, I survived the poisoning, and now I'm here able to share my story, that I now know and understand my entire life I was a victim, and the wanted to silence me before I could speak the truth

 

[AwoAce]

I've been thinking, instead of crying, sobbing, wishing they can get arrested, the best option may be to sue them, I can definitely sue them, who ever they are, I know who they are, there are 100s of witnesses

All I'll need is someone in South Africa who can help me get this done, we can take them for alot of money, that'll be more than therapeutic for me for what I was put through, if anyone can help or knows someone who can help, contact me via pm Please

 

[Sideways]

if anyone can help or knows someone who can help, contact me via pm

We don’t have a private message function here for members to message each other.

Definitely if you’re considering taking legal action against anyone, your best bet would be to get legal advice from an attorney in your jurisdiction, since this is an international forum and the laws for one member will be vastly different to those that are relevant for another member.

 

[AwoAce]

Thank you sideways

Other vile stuff that happened, I remember it now, they showed me pron video, it's my room, people having sex here in my bed, that's when I noticed where the hidden camera was, it's just above my bed as a black smudge in the cieling, I covered them all up now, but wtf, imagine you oneday go on pornhub watch some videos, and it shows your room people having sex on your bed, that's what the wet mark was on my sheets, stuff these people did, they went so far to mock me spite me, they must've done it when I went to the store, that's when I said to chatgpt 'what will they do next, make porn of the chicks I see in public?" And it is exactly what they did, I went to the store and this guy walked past me looked my direction behind my back with a smug look and said 'drink a little first"

Then I went to the KFC and there were two chicks there kept turning around at me and smiling, they were wearing the same stripper clothes of the porn video, that my very own friend made that I saw on there as well, it was all a sick betrayal, malicious behaviour, if you go onto the recent videos of porn hub in the last couple of months, it's all my neighbours, my family, my friends, Uber drivers, they all made that porn, knowing I'd see it's them, after I said it's as if people are mocking me, curating my life so that I have to be eternally alone, the life long rejection as if I'm an animal, these people showed me, gave me a message, that I'm unworthy of it, only everyone else is privileged to have it, that I'm an animal.under their control

They made a video of having sex in my own bed, and left me to find it on Pornhub, wtf man, wtf, why

They laughed to see how I was suffering, I was a joke circus freak for them, and they tried to kill me, for nothing, I never bothered anyone, harmed anyone ever in my life, I was doing good, focusing on m work, minding my own business, these people came out of no where, but it seems they were always there, just waiting for opportunities, to cause pain, to destroy someone's life, because they could, why not

How is what they did to me now, any different from what happened when I was 3 years of, tortured laughed at by a theatre that watched

I don't even know where to go no one gives a f*ck about me