Pistanthrophobia Breakthrough

[soulsearcher]

I think I have finally made a breakthrough with my fear of trusting anyone. I have been having a rough go for the past several months. But a dream I had enlightened me just a little and it feels ok now.
My dream was about my new T and I blindfolded her to take her to "the house of horrors" where I grew up. We went in the house and I showed her the things that happened to me. The house showed all the gorry details of my past, which is weird because holes have been repaired, rooms have changed and the blood is gone but in my dream it was all there noticable and I could walk my T through everything.
So my interruptation of the dream is that I am starting to trust her and I blindfolded her for her protection to not know where this house was and also fear that she may return and confront my family which would mean I told the secrets and would pay the price for doing so.
I hope that one day I can tell her everything that happened without fear and toxic shame consuming me.
Hopefully this dream is a step in the right direction to my recovery and not just another false hope.,

 

[darrenS]

Hopefully this dream is a step in the right direction to my recovery and not just another false hope.,

The fact it gives you hope is reason enough for it to be a step in the right direction, just keep using it and believing in it and once it is spent you'll probably find many more things to give you hope and motivation to keep going forward..Good luck and i wish you the best

 

[soulsearcher]

@darrenS Thank you! I am trying my best to keep the positives going in my recovery.