Pretty Wings

[Cydney]

I am new to this forum.

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. He is a Gulf War Veteran.

Everything was going very well in our relationship, he was going to starting a new job in the line of work that he has a passion for, which is helping fellow vetrans who suffers with PTSD. He was continuing his education online. I myself was haveing a difficult time at my now previous job, and was blaming it on my relationship with him. In all actuality it wasn't our relationship that was the issue it was my job, I broke it off with him in Feb. of this year, and then lost my job in March and had realized I had made a huge mistake.

We finally had made mutual contact, when I had broke it off with him he had gone into reclusion for about 6 weeks. He never started the new job.

We have gotten back together, but it has been a hard road these past few months for both him and I, this is my first real experience with PTSD and it is a very frightening experience, and I cannot imagine how he feels.

I have been educating myself as much as possible on this illness, but as in most cases the info. and support for the carer's is limited. I have found some words amoung the posts that have helped me to understand what is going on and what I can do. I want so badly to be able to get through this with him.

His episodes as he calls them have gotten better, this last time he went 3 weeks.

Please help me understand as best as I can, for me to become stronger for myself and him.

 

[Kintsugi]

So, your boyfriend has PTSD.

He was doing school and preparing to work with other PTSD sufferers.

You were having problems at your job.

You broke up with him because you were blaming stress from your job on him.

He went into seclusion and did not start his job, assumedly because he was bummed out by the breakup?

You got back together with him, but something about PTSD is making your relationship harder?

Am I understanding you, Cydney?

I also suggest if your "edit" button is still up, edit your post to standard font before one of the admins does it and wags their finger at you (you're only supposed to be creative within diary spaces).

Welcome to the forum. Not sure what you're looking for yet, but I hope you find it.

 

[Cydney]

Miss AntiSunshine,
Yes you are understanding me.

We had been together for almost a year before the breakup. I myself suffer from major depression and have ADHD. I am currently under the care of a doctor and I see a therapist on a regular basis as well.

From the beginning of our relationship, he never really showed any major symptoms, he was well groomed, healthy, happy etc. He did have the occasional nightmare, or flashback due to an odor he would smell, but thats was it.

Now everything will be going really good, and no warning just disappear, no call, text nothing. this usually will last a week and then he is good for a week or two and the cycle begins again.

This last time he made it 3 weeks before the most recent episode. I have had no word from him since this past Monday. We had made plans a week ago Friday to get together for a a movie and dinner, he told me that he was getting in the shower and then i heard nothing back after I had responded to him.

the last text I got from him stated that he was on his way home from the city the hospital is in and he said "I am sorry for hurting you, and letting you down (sad face) I am alive".

I do know or at least he has told me that he goes to the closest VA hospital and admits himself.

I guess more than anything that I need reassurance that I am not alone in this and I am looking to learn more about being a carer. and If I can continue with the relationship.

I care for him dearly and it tears me up to see him hurting.

Thank you for any responses I may get.

 

[Ron]

Welcome to the forum !:)

 

[Cydney]

Welcome to the forum !:)

Thank you! Glad to be here.

 

[Nicolette]

Welcome to the forum Cydney. Please join us down in the Supporter section.

 

[Abrasky]

Welcome Cydney. Glad to see you here. It sounds like you care about your boyfriend but it is hard with PTSD.